I will have to start this review with a confession. I’ve been sleeping with women for 10+ years and up until a few weeks ago I’ve never used a strap-on. I just have never felt the “need” to. Dicks were definitely not missed during my girl time. I used to rarely even use any toys during my lesbian sex. All we wanted were our bodies, almost as if to prove that we’re enough and that we can get the job done on our own terms.
But people grow and develop, and surprisingly to me, even I grew-up. And realized that steering clear from any kind of sex or pleasure, is staying in a box. To me sex represents liberation and being free. So if I were in fact, bisexual, pansexual, pleasure-driven, sex-positive woman, why run away from something that even remotely represented heteronormative sex? What I realized is that incorporating a phallus doesn’t make me less of a feminist, less of a lesbian, or less of who I am. Isn’t girl sex all about that? It can be anything you want it to be. So many things ARE sex, and sometimes just humping someone’s leg through their clothes can be sex. So throw whatever you want in the mix and redefine what you call sex.
With that introduction in mind, my curiosity about strap-on sex grew bigger and bigger. I already owned an impressive collection of Tantus dildos that are all strap-on compatible. And clearly I’ve heard legends about the SpareParts harnesses. So not surprisingly, this is the first harness I picked to review.
Brief intro to harnesses
A harness is the garment that holds the dildo. A number of brands will sell you both in one package, and the complete package is usually called strap-on. The reason some companies sell these together, is that depending on the kind of harness one is using, the harness might not fit most dildo sizes. How most harnesses work is by using O-rings. The ring will fit a certain girth, and if you want to change dildos mid-session, you have to unclip the O-ring, change it to a size that fits, and then put the new dildo and clip back on the ring. If it sounds like a pain, that’s because it IS.
And if we were to separate harnesses into two big categories, those would be: ones that are adjustable and you don’t have to worry that much about fitting, because they can be tightened or loosened up. And there are the ones that look like underwear, briefs or undies: like the Bella, Sasha, or the Tomboi from SpareParts. For those you need to make sure that you’re fitted correctly. If it’s too tight it will give you a muffin top and it will be difficult to move around, let alone fuck someone, and if it’s too loose, it’s not going to give you enough support.
SpareParts specialize in high-quality super versatile harnesses. Most of their models hold patents, and they’ve received a number of awards. SpareParts is absolutely the best brand when it comes to non-leather or non faux-leather harnesses. Most of their things are made by materials such as spandex, have a number of adjustable parts and are made with comfort, convenience and durability in mind. They are definitely expensive, compared to a number of other brands and products, but they will last you years of fuss-free and hassle-free strap-on sex.
Their packaging looks more like high-end lingerie, and this certainly adds to the whole experience.
Joque by SpareParts is by far the most notorious harness ever made. It’s loved by many, praised by sex bloggers, recommended by sex educators and hugely used by members of different lifestyles. If you are looking for one harness to end all harnesses, look no further, Joque found you.
Joque only comes in two sizes, because each of them can fit waist sizes ranging from 20”-50” or 35”-65”. Everything on it is customizable: the leg straps, the waist straps. If you are anything like me and your weight fluctuates a lot, investing your money in Joque is probably the smartest thing. It’s a two-strap jokey style harness. You can wear your sexy g-string underneath and tease your partner with your hot bootie, or not leave things to imagination and go commando. Joque is breathable, washable and is entirely hygienic, it can be shared with partners (if washed between uses), and that’s not going to shorten its life, because it’s made of highly durable materials. It comes in several colors: black, white, purple, red and blue.
It has a stretchy O-ring that can accommodate dildos of different sizes. All you will need your dildo to have is a flared base. Joque has two little pockets above and below the O-ring, in which you can fit small vibrators. Changing dildos is really easy, the waist of the harness is Velcro, you just loosen it up, take dildo 1 out and put dildo 2 in. It’s simple as that. You don’t have to worry about wearing it underneath your clothes. As I said, it’s super comfortable and even if you’re going out and just want to wear it underneath your jeans or skirt, it’s barely noticeable.
Joque is a great harness for a number of scenarios. It can be used for pegging (that’s when a woman fucks a man in the ass with strap-on), because it can accommodate even smaller dildos, it’s great for girl sex, it can also be used with a double-ended dildo, such as The Share Double by Fun Factory, because it’s crotchless and has one’s vulva exposed and easily playable with. The last thing makes it perfect for FMF or FFF threesomes. While one of the girls is fucking the other with the strap-on, she can simultaneously receive penetration or other genital play from the guy (or a third woman with a strap-on).
Tips for more enjoyable topping with Joque
The top in strap-on sex is the one wearing the strap on and the one penetrating. Overall people seem to think that there isn’t much one in this position can to do receive pleasure. I am not talking just purely the pleasure of having sex and giving someone else joy. But let’s face it, it’s a lot of work, and there’s not much happening in the top’s nether regions.
So what can be done to fix that? One thing that I love is wearing Kegel balls while using a strap-on. The motions will move the balls around, will cause you to clench around them, and that alone can make you cum. Try wearing a vibrating egg. Or putting a little vibe in the pouch. People seem to love their We-Vibe Tango for that job, but I honestly love my Eva by Dame. Another trick for less pain from the base of the dick pressing against your mons: get a dildo with a soft base meant for strap-on play, such as the Royale line by Vixen. Or buy one of these little pillows for underneath the base of the dildo.
Joque turned out to be everything I’ve imagined it would be. It’s not just a lot of talk and fuss. It sells for $114.95 at Peepshowtoys and you can get 10% off with code: WETLANDIA. It’s absolutely worth every dime. If you can’t afford it even at this price, I would say: save your money, wait for some Black Friday or Christmas Sales, to get Joque even a bit more discounted, and save yourself the whole trouble of wasting money on disappointing harnesses. And put your Joque (and your Njoy toys) in the prenup. You will want to take these, and they will last you that long.
Disclaimer: Joque was generously provided to me by SpareParts in exchange for my honest review. My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By buying through them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.