J Caress LGBTQ Greeting Cards

When I went to the Sexual Health Expo in Brooklyn two weeks ago, I definitely did not expect to end up buying a greeting card. Among the booths of some of my favorite brands, between powerful vibrators and remote controlled butt plugs there it was. A whole beautiful wall of same-sex love. I was perplexed. I felt validated and important. My mind started drifting away and I wished I could give my first girlfriend from more than 10 years ago one of these creations.

Back then we would make our own hand-made greeting cards. She would make me collages of our pictures: kissing, caressing, just being in love. Looking back at these times I wonder whether we were making our own gifts of love because we were young and crazy about each other, or if not having a “product that represented us” played a big part.

J Caress Greeting CardJessica and Caroline, the wife and wife behind J Caress, greeted me and took me out of my trance. Was there anything they could help me with, did I have any questions? Well, yes, indeed, I had ALL the questions. What is this? Lesbian and gay cards? Do YOU make them? Are you girls a couple? Awww… My heart was melting with their beautiful story and how they created their business around one of the many injustices LGBTQ people face on daily basis. When they got married, before it was even legal in their own state, they received the same card gifted to them by all of their guests. There was only one same-sex greeting card available? That’s all? Over the years, their friends got married in different states and they kept receiving the same greeting card. That’s when it hit them. They might need to start making their own creations for their own hugely underserved, excluded and discriminated against community.

Cartoons of the lesbian couple Puss and Bitch and the gay couple Bear and Hare or the intimate erotically charged cards of gay and lesbian couples kissing, embracing, smelling each others’ skin, you’re not going to find yourself wondering what to buy, because if you are anything like me, you would want to buy them all! I absolutely adore the one of Puss and Bitch at the airport security, having their luggage scanned: toys, anal beads, hand cuffs, lube and a collar. Hell yeah, it’s not just me that has to sweat it every time passing through a TSA check.

J Caress Greeting CardWe might have equal marriage rights but you know what? There’s a far cry from being equal if we can’t even celebrate properly. If we don’t see examples of couples like us when we go to buy our friends a greeting card. Rituals matter and representation matters. And yes, in 2016 we still face homophobia on a daily basis. Recently, a fellow sex educator of mine was threatened and harassed by an Uber driver not in some little town in the middle of nowhere mind you, but in Chicago, for being gay. She received a number of disgusting and horrifying Tweets when she shared what happened to her on social media. What did Uber offer her? $5 credit for her next Uber ride… Seriously?

You can show J Caress some love by going to their website or by following them on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram but you know what matters even more? To show your bisexual daughter your love, appreciation, and support. To buy your gay or trans best friend an appropriate greeting card.

If I had one wish, what would it be? It would be to see more LGBTQ role models. To see more BDSM representation, to have more consensual non-monogamy visibility. I want to see greeting cards for triads, for poly families, for subs and doms. Cards that honor us in all genders, shapes, colors and orientations.

Note: The resolution of my pictures is lowered on purpose, I don’t want anyone stealing their designs and work.

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Wetlandia’s very first blog post

njoy toys

njoy pure plug large, njoy pure wand and njoy fun wand, all enjoying the company of a beautiful blossoming orchid

Why did I decide to start a sex and human sexuality blog? It’s so, so simple. Because I really like sex. Nope. I actually deeply and profoundly love sex. I think it’s (or at least it should be!) one of the most beautiful, sacred, and transcendent experiences one can have in their lives.

I am sick of seeing sex dragged into the mud, frowned upon, denied and taken away from people. I am angry about having to apologize, having to be polite and “civilized”, having to censor myself. I am so tired of not being able to talk about sex. As freely, as often, as openly, as frankly, and as graphically as I wish.

I want to normalize sex. Because sex is normal and natural. And if people read more about it, if they saw it in its every-day glory, in its simple human side, maybe they wouldn’t beat themselves up for having certain thoughts or desires, or point a finger at one another, or bottle it up deep into their minds and souls.

I believe that everyone deserves pleasure and that we all have the human right of sexual health. But with it comes huge responsibility. Throughout life no one teaches us how to experience, ask for, or give pleasure. In fact what we learn is that pleasure is dirty and shameful, that our desires are wrong.

We all need allies and friends in the quest for better sex. We don’t just need resources or education. We need understanding, we need to remind ourselves that we’re not alone. We need to know that others make mistakes too, that others aren’t perfect. And just like you, I’ve succeeded but also failed a good number of times.

Why Wetlandia? I can’t quite remember how I came up with it. I knew I wanted a catchy and easy to remember name for my website, suggestive, but not too explicit. Enough to kindle one’s imagination, but leave it ambiguous enough that the thought of being caught at work reading it wouldn’t scare people away. Maybe it’s some reference to Alice in Wonderland. Maybe at the time I was reading about the striking wetlands of Pantanal in Brazil. But what made me choose it and stick with it was when I shared the name with my partner and asked him for some thoughts and feedback. His reaction was “well, it makes me thing of wet pu**ies”. And I said to myself – yes, that’s exactly what the world needs, that’s exactly what women (and men for that matter) deserve – more wet pu**sies. Wetter pu**ies.

Fast forward several months, and here we are today: after I’ve dealt (barely) with my inner demons, impostor syndrome, and the “who’s EVER gonna read my blog” crisis, writing my first blog post, having a website and getting sh*t done.

Let the journey begin…

(By the way, dealing with my demons took 4 months, creating the website, a logo, social media channels and all that took a week. Talk about your fears being your worst enemy.)

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