Satisfyer Pro Penguin Review

Satisfyer Penguin

There are going to be some of you, who will hate the looks of this toy. I know many people who almost find the color pink offensive to their feminism. I’m the kind of feminist that’s comfortable enough with embracing their feminine side, and having pink objects in my possession is far from threatening to my activism or self expression. At the same time, I’d like to acknowledge that many people with vulvas might not feel feminine and might genuinely avoid pink or fuchsia toys. So I am always kind of disappointed when toys don’t come in any other color option. At the same time I am really, really into how cute and simplistic the Satisfyer Penguin is.

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin is a toy many have been waiting for. It’s nominated for Best Powered Toy of the Year by Xbiz, as well as for Best Innovative Toy of the Year. The last one I find quite ironic, given that the Satisfyer allegedly stole the pulsation technology from the Womanizer. Anywho… After the huge success of the original Satisfyer Pro 2, the company released four new models almost simultaneously. I’ve already reviewed one of the battery operated models, the Satisfyer 2, and I’ve been extensively testing and comparing the toys. The biggest difference that the new models have, with the exception of the Satisfyer 1, is the shape of the nozzle. While the Satisfyer Pro 2 had a nozzle with a small opening, but very thick outer part, covering a larger area around the clitoris, three of the new models, including the Penguin don’t have that extra cushioning.

What is the Satisfyer?

Its’ a clitoral or nipple toy that uses a combination of pulsation and suction and is meant to be placed around the glans of the clitoris, or the nipple. It’s very gentle and subtle sensation, that on higher speed can become intense and powerful, but it’s very distinguishable from vibration. These toys also work great underwater. The closest way of describing it would be: it feels like someone performing really skillful cunnilingus on your clit.

What does the Penguin feature?

dscn3584The Penguin is a rechargeable waterproof toy, that’s made of silicone and ABS plastic. It comes in a nice box, sans a storage case, and features 11 speeds. While the 11 speed motor is a common feature of the other Satisfyers, the motors are all different for the different products (or at least, they feel different). While the Penguin is not as powerful as the original Satisfyer Pro 2, I think it’s as good an option, as the Pro 2. They’re just different, and I can’t necessarily rank one higher. The Penguin also has similar controls with the Pro 2 — one button for turning it on or off, and one for the speeds. Unfortunately the one button only circles through the speeds and cannot go back, unless you go to the highest setting, after which instead of going from 11 to 1, it starts slowing down: 11, 10, 9…. I find this really frustrating and annoying, because the speeds are so many that having to go all the way back from the start over can be exhausting. (Hence, my appreciation for the only model that has “+” and “-” controls.) It has a very comfortable to hold shape, the body of the toy is matte and totally non slippery, it’s lighter than the Pro 2 and is a little smaller, making it even even easier to take with you on a trip.

How is it different?

The Penguin comes at a slightly lower price-point. It lost the excessive noise of the motor and is now a much more discrete and non-distracting to use a toy. It’s slightly less powerful than the Pro 2, which I don’t mind, to be honest. The few highest programs of the Satisfyer Pro 2 were always a bit too much for me. The Penguin feels much more pinpoint and concentrated. It’s less overwhelming and is more gentle and nuanced.

The only thing to consider is the size of your clit and the size of the nozzle. While the opening of the nozzle is wider than the one of the original Satisfyer, the nozzle doesn’t have the additional patting covering a larger area. Which might make it unsuitable for people with larger clits, or ones who dislike too pinpoint stimulation.

Tips for using it

I am going to repeat most of the things I’ve already said about the other models. Add lube on your clit and vulva, as well as on the nozzle. Try combining wearing a butt plug, a vaginal egg or kegel balls while using the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, if you find clitoral stimulation unable to get you off alone. And definitely give it a spin underwater!

In conclusion

Satisfyer Pro PenguinThe Satisfyer Pro Penguin is a great gift for anyone who doesn’t already own a Satisfyer or a Womanizer. I would even recommend it to someone who wants to replace their older Satisfyer because of its noise levels. As with any other sex toy, there’s no guarantee it’s going to work for you or that you’re going to like it. But if you like receiving oral sex, or gentle clitoral stroking, chances are you might really like the Satisfyer Penguin. The positive reviews and feedback for these toys are far greater than the negative ones. The Satisfyer Penguin is probably one of the best models out of all. I love it’s shape, it’s matte material, its subtle pulsation. And the price of just $49 certainly doesn’t hurt either.

Disclaimer: The Satisfyer 2 was generously provided to me by Peepshowtoys in exchange for my honest review. My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By buying through them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.

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Satisfyer 2 Review

Satisfyer 2 Review

Many exciting and overwhelming things are happening in the world of sex toys at the end of this year. The Satisfyer released 4 new models of their pressure wave “vibrator”. After the success of the newest version of the Satisfyer Pro 2 I was wondering what they could improve or introduce. After all, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is really, really powerful. Its only downside is that it’s loud as f*ck. Luckily, my curiosity was satisfied (pun intended) when Peepshowtoys asked me if I wanted to review… ALL of the new Satisfyers. Yep, I mean… I had to. For… science. You know, people needed to know, so I had to have first… hand experience.

Thoroughly testing and comparing the new four models and the older Satisfyer Pro 2, made me wish I had an assistant to take notes as I was using them in the tub, in bed, and in every imaginable way. They were somehow so different from one another, yet similar. While I am not going to compare all five of them in this post, as this is something that I am going to leave for a completely separate article, I am going to make references to the different models, all of which you can find at Peepshowtoys. They not only carry all five models, but they offer very competitive prices for each of the toys.

Short intro into the models

Satisfyer 2 and Satisfyer Pro 2

Satisfyer 2 and Satisfyer Pro 2

There is the older, and currently most expensive model, Satisfyer Pro 2. It’s rechargeable, and it’s the most powerful one of the five.There are two new rechargeable models, the Satisfyer Pro Penguin and the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe. They’re slightly less powerful, but much less noisy than the Pro 2. The shape of their nozzle is very different though, and I am still doing some extensive testing (someone has to), as they differ in subtle ways. And there are two battery operated models, the Satisfyer 1 and the Satisfyer 2.

I am mainly going to compare the last two, since they’re in the same price-range, and they’re the only two that are battery operated. They both use 2 x AAA batteries and have 11 programs, but the Satisfyer 2 is a tiny bit more powerful, though definitely louder.

What’s the Satisfyer 2?

Satisfyer 2 ReviewIf you are unfamiliar with the world of pulsators, or pressure wave vibrators, all of the Satisfyers (as well as the Womanizers) work in a similar way. (It’s also worth noting that Womanizer sued Satisfyer for copying its technology.) They don’t vibrate, but instead slightly pulsate and apply a gentle suction. While the nozzle surrounds the clitoris and applies pulsations, at the same time the opening of the nozzle applies suction on the glans of the clit. It’s a really unique sensation different from any vibrator of form of play you’ve had. What the feeling is closest to is oral sex, but even the analogy with cunnilingus doesn’t really explain that well what the toy feels like. I’ve read a number of reviews and opinions, and a huge number of people have reported orgasming (and often just within minutes) solely with the toy, while others prefer it as a warm-up. And of course, there are people with really sensitive clit that didn’t like the sensation at all and found it overwhelming.  

The Satisfyer 2 is a battery operated version of the toy. It’s roughly the same size as the Satisfyer Pro 2, but it’s lighter. As I said, it’s less loud than the Pro 2, but out of the new four models, it’s still the loudest one. It definitely doesn’t look like a sex toy, it’s really stylish and tasteful and comes in a beautiful classy box. The nozzle is made of silicone and can be removed for cleaning purposes. The nozzle of the Satisfyer 2 is the biggest of all, with a much bigger opening, so it’s able to stimulate a wider area. Which I think is a huge plus, as the opening of the nozzle of the original Satisfyer was way too small for most clits.

What are the advantages?

Both battery-operated toys are much cheaper and come at a very attractive price-point. The Satisfyer 2 sells for $35, while the Satisfyer 1 has a price tag of $29. Where the Satisfyer 2 shines, besides the size of its nozzle, is the fact that it has “+” and “-” controls, something that no other model features. And this is really helpful for a toy that has 11 modes. Circling through them and going back a notch is a pain with the other versions, and this is one of the primary reasons I can passionately recommend this model and I chose to review it first. Another great thing about it is that it’s still very powerful. I for one had no problem reaching an orgasm with it. And speaking of battery-operated toys: once it’s dead, all you need to do is put in a fresh set of batteries. You don’t have to wait to recharge the toy, you don’t have to worry about cords and outlets. Which does make it great for travelling.

What are the disadvantages?

All of the new models came out of the box with a harsh smell of chemicals. It might be because they’re super new and just came out of the factory, or it could be just a problem with the first batches. But it’s something I haven’t experienced with the Pro 2. The smell is getting fainter and fainter with time, but even after a few days and using it in the tub, it’s still there.

Tips on how to use it

Satisfyer 2 and Satisfyer Pro 2

Satisfyer 2 and Satisfyer Pro 2

All of the Satisfyers are waterproof and can be used in the tub. This is something that I am definitely going to recommend, because it’s a truly unique sensation. While the warmth of the bath helps with circulation (ergo, arousal), many people dislike vibrators in the tub because the stimulation is numbed by water. In the case of the Satisfyers, the stimulation is enhanced — less acute but more nuanced. It makes the Satisfyer feel like a gentle massager, it feels like someone going down on you or someone gently stroking your clit.

If you want to use it out of the tub or the shower, I would recommend lubing up your vulva, and squeezing some lube in and around the nozzle.

If you like vaginal stimulation and feeling full, you should try wearing kegel balls while playing with the toy. Or any vaginal egg. Maneuvering a dildo alongside any Satisfyer might be a tricky task, that’s why I recommend vaginal balls instead.

It also feels really good for nipple play. Just sayin’.

In conclusion

The Satisfyer 2 is one of the models I can easily recommend for several reasons. Battery-operated toys usually malfunction far less often than rechargeable ones, and you can keep enjoying the toy with new batteries (but, yes, we could use fewer batteries in the world…). It has a price-point of almost half the price of the Satisfyer Pro 2, it’s less loud and it’s almost as powerful. To be honest, it’s power-range is probably going to be enough for most people, because the last several speeds of the Pro 2 are way too strong. And it has “+” and “-” buttons to go back and forth in speeds, separate from the “on” and “off” button!

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Disclaimer: The Satisfyer 2 was generously provided to me by Peepshowtoys in exchange for my honest review. My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By buying through them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.


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Gift-Giving Guide: What to Get Your Partner if They Have a Vulva?

Best Sex Toys for Women

These gift-giving guides are proving to be a really hard work. Duh! But I hope they’re a helpful resource and will guide you through the tricky times of BLACK FRIDAY SALES.

Welcome to Part 2 of this shopping recommendation bonanza. Today we’re going to talk about toys for those with vulvas. Whether you’re shopping for yourself, or you’re shopping for your girlfriend, mother, sister, or wife, I am going to do my best to help you budget your purchases, as well as figure out what might be the toy that best meets your needs. Sex toys are the best gift a girl can receive, but often partners are completely clueless what to pick. If you don’t want to receive a tacky jelly rabbit vibe, maybe you can accidentally on purpose send this article to your loved ones. I’ve tested most of these toys and I’ve consulted other reviewers who have first hand experiences with them. So let me sherpa your way to the instant (well, almost, unless you are buying from a brick and mortar store) gratification that sex toy shopping can be.

All of these categories start with the lowest price, but without putting your health at risk. An important thing to try to remember when shopping for sex toys: always avoid things that look suspiciously cheap. I’ve only included body-safe options in this list, but if you wanna do your own shopping, please stick to these materials.

If you missed part 1, Gift-Giving Guide: What to Get Your Partner if They Have a Penis?, you can always check it out here.

Clitoral Stimulators

Best Clitoral Toys

1. RO-80 Bullet Vibrator by Rocks-Off for $17.99 from Shevibe

2. Vibratex Water Dancer (pocket rocket vibe) for $19 from Peepshowtoys

3. Rocks Off Bamboo for $21.99 from Shevibe

4. Fun Factory LAYAspot for $49.00 from Peepshowtoys

5. Satisfyer Pro 2 for $59.99 from Peepshowtoys. This one is not a vibrator. It stimulates the clitoris with gentle suction and pulsation. Water-proof, rechargeable and multi-speed. Read my full review here.

6. Vesper Crave for $69 from Shevibe. This is a wearable necklace with a bullet vibrator as a charm. Powerful, pinpoint and stylish.

7. We-Vibe Tango for $79 from We-Vibe. Simply the best bullet vibe ever created.

8. We-Vibe Touch for $99 from We-Vibe.  This is a deep and rumbly less pinpoint version of the Tango. Much easier to hold in place, but as orgasmic!

9. Womanizer Pro40 for $99 from Peepshowtoys. The newest version of this toy is cheaper, waterproof and doesn’t look like a something Barbie bought  while on ecstasy.

10. Crave Duet for $149 from Good Vibrations. This one is a glorious powerhouse in a little pocket jewel.

G-Spot Vibrators

1. Slander G by Pleasure Works for $22 from Good Vibrations 
2. Callie Wand by Jopen for $54 from Peepshowtoys
3. Lovelife Cuddle for $69 from Peepshowtoys

4. Comet Wand II Key for $79 from Peepshowtoys. Find out why it brings so much joy to my g-spot. Get it before they discontinue it!
5. Swan Curve Squeeze for $89 from Peepshowtoys. Find out why I named it one of the best toys I’ve tried in 2016.
6. L’Amourose PRISM V for $99 from Peepshowtoys. Epiphora absolutely loved this g-spot vibe.
7. We-Vibe Rave for $119 from We-Vibe. If you only get to choose one toy of this whole guide, I’d say: get We-Vibe Rave. I haven’t published my review of it yet, and that’s because it always leaves me speechless.
8. Fun Factory Moody for $139.99 from Peepshowtoys
9. L’Amourose Rosa for $159 from Peepshowtoys

10. Lelo Mona 2 for $169 from Peepshowtoys

Harness compatible dildos

1. Godemiche Ambit Dildo for $34.99 from Shevibe2. Pleasure Works Bullseye for $38 from Good Vibrations3. Pride Rainbow G-Spot Silicone Dildo by BS for $74.99 from Shevibe

4. Tantus Echo for $75.77 from Tantus. This amazing creation has several coronal ridges. You know that awesome feeling when the head of the penis is in? Well, this is the whole shaft of Echo! Full review here.
5. The BJ Dildo for $78 from Good Vibrations. This dildo creates a pleasurable suction on the wearer’s clitoris, when sucked. If you are into all sorts of queer gender fuckery, this might be a dream come true.
6. Tantus Cush O2 dual density silicone dildo for $84.06 from Tantus
7. Tantus Slick Large dual density silicone dildo for $89 from Tantus
8. Fun Factory Bouncer for $99 from Good Vibrations.  This dildo has bouncing balls inside of it that move as you thrust. Pretty cool, huh?
9. VixSkin Mustang dual density silicone dildo for $99.99 from Shevibe in skin colors or bright multicolor

10. FunFactory Share for $106 from Good Vibrations. This is a great double ended dildo with a bulbous part to be worn internally by the one topping for equal pleasure. It can be used for masturbation too, since grabbing it by the shaft actually makes it really easy to maneuver. You can only use it with harnesses that are compatible with double ended dildos, such as Joque by SpareParts.

Handheld Dildos

1. Lovehoney Double Ended Textured Sensual Glass for $29.99 from Lovehoney
2. Lelo Ella for $53.99 from Peepshowtoys of from Shevibe. This little object has helped countless number of people to find their g-spot and squirt for the first time. It’s unfortunately being discontinued, so hurry and get it while you can!
3. Tantus G-Force for $69.97 from Tantus. The genius design of this dildo with handle allows you to thrust more easily without having your hands get tired of holding it.
4. Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminum C Curve Dildo for $69.99 from Shevibe. This creation is made by a British company that specializes in unique metal sex toys.
5. Njoy Pure Wand for $110 from Peepshowtoys. This toy is no joke. It’s going to last you a lifetime, since it’s virtually unbreakable, and it’s going to give you the most amazing g-spot orgasms, and maybe even teach you squirt!
6. Laid D.2 Stone Dildo for $110.99 from Shevibe. This granite dildo has a similar shape to the We-Vibe Rave, since Laid is currently a sister brand of We-Vibe. The same fabulous g-spot stimulation, with more weight for better pressure and temperature play.
7. Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon Glass Dildo for $129.99 from Shevibe. This is a hand-made glass dildo that as the name suggests is as beautiful as a piece of art. It’s as useful as it is pretty.
8. NobEssence Seduction for $145 from Peepshowtoys. We continue with the beautiful pieces of art: this is a 100% wooden dildo with a prominent g-spot curve.
9. Chakrubs Thick Chakrub starting at $150 from Chakrubs. These dildos are made by different crystals that correspond to each chakra. They’re healing in Buddhism, and help you achieve better health and inner peace, but the thick round shapes of these dildos are quite pleasurable as well. Read my review of the Rabbit Jade Chakrub.

10. Chakrubs Rose Wand for $189.95 from Chakrubs. This dildo is made by Rose Quartz and has a prominent g-spot bulb at the end.

Wand Vibrators

1. Shibari Halo Wand for $54.99 from Shevibe. This one is rechargeable, water-proof and body safe. What else can one need from a wand? Only downside is that the Magic Wand attachments won’t fit on this one.
2. BMS PalmPower Wand Massager for $69 from Peepshowtoys. Another body-safe option with a removable silicone head. It even has a rechargeable version for the same price! You can purchase additional attachments for this one, but your Magic Wand attachments won’t fit.
3. Jimmyjane Iconic Wand for $74.99 form Shevibe. This multi-speed, waterproof rechargeable wand is a top pick of many. Again the Magic Wand attachments won’t fit on it though.
4. Mystic Wand Rechargeable for $95.95 from Good Vibrations. As I mention in my review of this wand, it’s less powerful than the Magic Wand Original, but it’s much easier to hold, it’s smaller and lighter and it’s not as overwhelming. It’s rechargeable, but if you run out of juice, you can use it plugged in the cord. It’s really sleek and pretty. No attachments available.
5. Lovehoney Desire Wand for $99 from Lovehoney. Silicone, multi-speed and rechargeable. Not compatible with Magic Wand attachments.
6. Sola Egg Massager Passion Set Set for $119.99 from Shevibe. I’ve reviewed the Passion Set and it comes with two extra silicone attachments included. Sola Egg Massager is a super small handheld cordless wand with removable silicone head. Magic Wand attachments fit great on it too.

7. Swan Wand for $$119.99 from Shevibe. This is a fabulous strong and rumbly wand that looks really aesthetically pleasing. 100% silicone, waterproof and rechargeable. Not compatible with any attachments
8. Magic Wand Rechargeable for $124.95 from Peepshowtoys. What can I say? The updated cordless version of the Magic Wand Rechargeable is pretty awesome. The battery holds up to 4.5 hrs, the head is silicone, it has several speeds to fit everybody’s needs. And all of the attachments meant for the Magic Wand Original fit on it.
9.Tantus Rumble for $129.99 from Tantus. The Tantus Rumble is the first vibrator created with every body in mind. It’s a completely gender neutral vibrator, that is super hygienic, has a silicone head, that can be removed and properly cleaned. And it’s feather light! Magic Wand Attachments don’t really work with it, but Tantus sells attachments that fit Rumble. Read my full review here.
10. Doxy Die Cast for $189.99 from Shevibe. This one is simply the best and strongest wand on earth. Find out why.

Wand Attachments

1. PalmBliss for PalmPower for $13 from Peepshowtoys. It only works with the BSM Palm Power Wand Massager.

2. Flutter Tip by Wand Essentials for $19 from Peepshowtoys

3. Tantus Rumble Dorado Head $19 from Peepshowtoys. Only works with Tantus Rumble.

4. Pleasure Works Pop Top Nubby Purple for $22 from Shevibe

5. Pleasure Works Pop Top Ridged Blackfor $22 from Shevibe

6. Bliss Tips by Wand Essentials for $25 from Peepshowtoys

7. Fluttering Kiss by Wand Essentials $25 from Peepshowtoys

8. Pleasure Works Pop Top Off With Your Head Black for $27.99 from Shevibe

9. The Pop Tops Silicone G-Spotter for $40 from Good Vibrations. This g-spot attachment can be used anally for prostate play.

10. The Vixen Gee Whiz Attachment for $56.99 from Shevibe. Another super cool silicone g-spot attachment that can take anal play into the next level.

Dual Stimulators

Folks, I really couldn’t come up with 10 good rabbits I can happily recommend. But 7 is more than you’ll need. Seriously, this is the trickiest thing to buy. I’d stick to a good internal vibe or dildo and a good clitoral vibe. But if you insist… here:

1. Swan Hug Squeeze for $79 from Peepshowtoys

2. Jopen Vanity Vr6 for $109.99 from Shevibe

3. We-Vibe Nova for $149 from We-Vibe. The only truly rabbit vibrator that keeps contact with the clitoris as you thrust in and out. Read its full review.

4. Fun Factory Miss Bi for $149.99 from Peepshowtoys

5. Je Joue Dua for $156 from Shevibe. This isn’t a rabbit stile vibe. It’s a wearable that’s also app compatible and comes with a remote control. Read my review of Dua here.

6. L’Amourose Denia for $169 from Peepshowtoys

7. Lelo Ina 2 for $188 from Peepshowtoys

Harnesses

1. Tantus Vibrating Velvet Harness Black or Purple $31.19 from Tantus

2. RodeOh Crotchless Black Harness Panty $59.99 from Shevibe
3. Joque by SpareParts (multiple colors available) for $114.95 from Peepshowtoys. This is a fabulous high-quality harness that’s going to meet your every need. Full review here.
4. Bella Lingerie Harness Black by SpareParts for $149.95 from Peepshowtoys

5. Sasha Lingerie Harness by SpareParts Black or Red $149.95 from Peepshowtoys

Anal Toys

This is a slightly different list than the one I had in the Gift-Giving Guide: What to Get Your Partner if They Have a Penis?

  1. Tantus Ryder Butt Plug for $29 from Peepshowtoys. You can read my full review of this glorious intermediate to advanced butt plug here.

  2. FunFactory Bendybeads Anal Beads for $34.99 from Shevibe

  3. FunFactory Bootie Butt Plug Small for $34.99 from Shevibe (or Medium for $39.99)

  4. Tristan 1 Anal Plug (vibrating or non vibrating) by Vixen for $39.99 from Shevibe

  5. Njoy Pure Plug starting at $59 from Peepshowtoys$59 from Peepshowtoys

  6. Tantus Perfect Plug Vibrating Kit (2 plugs) for $68.00 from Tantus

7. Doxy Don Anal Vibrator for $89.99 from Shevibe. The rumbliest toy I own! Read my complete review here.

  1. Vixen Silicone Anal Beads Small for $89.99 from Shevibe (or Medium for $99.99)

  2. Trio Plug by b-Vibe for $140 from Good Vibrations. This medium-sized plug has three powerful motors and can be controlled from 30 ft away with a remote control! You can read my review here.

  3. Rimming Plug by b-Vibe (remote controlled) for $150 from Good Vibrations. Experience the rotating beads at the neck of the plug alongside with vibration in the shaft! Fantastic warm-up for anal intercourse! Find out more about it here.

Kegels

Kegel Balls

1. Fifty Shades of Grey Inner Goddess Silver Pleasure Balls for $29.99 from Lovehoney. These are really advanced kegels, and are more than twice as heavy as other regular exercise kegel balls.
2. Lelo Luna Beads Noir for $44.90 from Shevibe
3. Je Joue Ami for $59 from Peepshowtoys
4. Chakrubs Yoni Egg Rose Quartz for $65 from Chakrubs

5. Minna kGoal for $149 from Shevibe. These are smart kegels. This exercise system comes with an app and several games. I’ve been doing kegels dor years and this is the most advanced and nuanced program that’s been made so far.

STI Testing

At home discrete STI testing. MyLab BOX $49 for HIV, $79 for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea

Books

1. Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel

2. Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 2 edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
3. The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino
4. Wild Side Sex The Book of Kink by Midori

10. Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon

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The Satisfyer Pro 2 Review

dscn9830

I really badly want to start the review with: everyone should own one. And as cheesy, and salesy as this might sound, I really DO think that…

Everyone should own one.

At this point in my life, I am pretty familiar with my own body, the spectrum of sensations I can experience, and what kind of stimulation leads to them. And it’s not like I am taking this for granted, I am constantly trying new things, products, materials, techniques, positions and I am pushing my own boundaries. So when this toy came out, I was a bit skeptical. Suction? Gentle waves? Pulsation? Na-ah! I was imagining some hugely pointless toy (that a number companies keep coming up with these days). I imagined that it was gonna suck on my clitoris in a way that will leave me screaming in pain, cursing my adventurous spirit of having to try every gadget that comes out. I thought it was either gonna be useless and super disappointing, or super painful and torturous to my clit. And I am already a power queen and often bruise the gentle skin of my vulva and the hood of my clitoris with big and super strong toys such as the Doxy Die Cast. And because I am a masturbation enthusiast (and activist for that matter), I do pleasure myself every day. This leaves my body in a constant state of bangover, chafing, bruises, friction burn and sometimes little tears.

So I definitely didn’t need a catfish sucking on my clit. Or so I thought.

Then a fellow sex toy reviewer wrote a post about the product and it said that it was stellar. So I had to challenge my snap judgments of the toy and give it the benefit of the doubt. But still, more questions kept coming up: why is it so cheap? How is it rechargeable and yet so cheap? It must suck really badly. It has pinpointed suction and pulsations towards only the glands of the clit, not the entire organ, and if it doesn’t vibrate, how is that going to stimulate the rest of the clitoris to make me reach an orgasm?

Ladies and gentleman, I do not have the answer of any of these questions. Why, how, how come… It simply works.

By the time when Peepshowtoys, one of the sex-positive and responsible stores I support, offered me to review the Satisfyer of their behalf, I couldn’t say “YES” fast enough.

The Store

The delivery from Peepshowtoys.com was really discreet and it was shipped from “Hamilton Electronics”. So your secret is safe. Your mailman, neighbors, or family members aren’t gonna find out about your little secret. Everything was secured with lots of paper, making sure that the item isn’t gonna travel around in the box during its journey to your house. And that’s key when it comes to vibrators or toys that have electronics in them.

You often see me say “sex-positive, responsible, providing education”, when I talk about the stores that I like and recommend. That’s not a “I like you, I don’t like him, you’re my friend, John isn’t, let’s not play with him” kind of thing. I have very strict criteria when it comes to stores that I endorse. Do they sell crappy, porous or toxic toys? Do they sell unsafe anal toys with no flared base? Do they have a blog, write articles, provide education to their customers? Do they sell lubricants that contain glycerin? That kind of thing. And Peepshowtoys have scored great on all of these. Not only that, but they’re really nice and helpful, they answer your questions and are present on social media, trying to create a good experience for every customer. I couldn’t ask for more.

The Product

dscn9829The Satisfyer Pro 2 looks weird(ish) and unlike almost anything else out there simply because it’s not a vibrator. It has a long handle, which is very comfortable to use and makes holding it in place really easy (and that’s crucial for this toy in particular). It has two buttons, far from each other, which make accidentally turning it off impossible. When you need to turn it on or off, you will have to hold the smaller button. The bigger oval one is controlling the speed. One criticism I have of the one button only thing is that it doesn’t have a plus or minus option. Sometimes you wanna go back and tone things down. But some of my fave vibes (We-Vibe Touch) have the same “fluke”: they only go one way because they only have one button as well. BUT (!!!) this one at least doesn’t start over when you reach the highest setting. It doesn’t go from 11 back to zero. When you reach the most powerful program, it starts “counting back”. 11-10-9… So you can slowly scale down.

What is it made of and what does it do? The body of the toy is ABS plastic and the attachment that makes contact with your clitoris is silicone, so it’s entirely body-safe and non-porous. It’s water-proof (and delicious in the tub, but more on that later), it’s rechargeable (via a magnetic charger that it comes with), and has 11 speeds! What I love about it is that it’s super lightweight, and ergonomic to hold and use… and it’s not a freaking 100 or 200 bucks.

What it does is a gentle suction and pulsations around your clit at the same time. Yes, we are talking only of the glans and the hood of the clit. The little “mouth” of the toy needs to be placed around your clitoris. So the silicone attachment embraces it all around. Try putting some lube that lets you keep even better the light vacuum that the suction makes. And as I mentioned: it can be used underwater. Having it in the tub is definitely different and really delightful. I can’t say better or worse, because it performs really well and reliably in both air and water. One totally cute thing is that when you’re done with it in the bath, it will just float on top of the water. Like a little rubber duck. For adults. Didn’t I say it was super light?

And because it uses suction, well… I HAD to try it on my nipples. People, this isn’t some super hard and painful suction. This is not a BDSM nipple suction toy. If you are looking for pain, you’re not going to find it here. But it feels really good and as close to someone delightfully sucking on my tits as I’ve experienced from a toy. Especially when lubricated. And it’s not too overwhelming, even for the most sensitive of breasts.

At Use

Satisfyer Pro 2There’s a little bit of a learning curve to this toy because what it does to your body is entirely different from anything else that you might’ve used before (unless you have the Womanizer). So there’s definitely a short moment of “is this doing anything for me”. It was really short for me, but it will take every person different amount of time to get off with it. Just within a few minutes Satisfyer Pro 2 starts feeling good… and then really good… and then it might make you cum out of nowhere, because it stimulates parts of your clit that are usually overlooked, so your body-response is going to be different from what you have from vibration. Nothing vibrates on it, and that means that the handle doesn’t either. Yay, no numb fingers anymore! Your arm and hand could get tired for an entirely different reason though. In order to keep the suction and have the toy work and be perfectly placed where you need it to be, you have to hold it in one place. Sometimes a little bit of movement breaks the suction. It’s easy to get back on track, or sometimes this leads to using it in a slightly different position that feels as good or even better.

And what I love about the orgasms with it is that they’re… easy. But what I mean by easy is that they don’t tire my entire PC muscles, it doesn’t make me cramp, it doesn’t leave me depleted. It’s just like having an orgasm, but not having gone through all the “work” and contractions of having one. (Boy I hope this makes sense.) It’s like: I just came, now I am refreshed, energized and can get shit done. Moving forward with my life. Versus: Oh boy, I will need to take a nap after this one.

Cons

The only thing that can be a deal breaker for some people is that Satisfyer Pro 2 cannot be easily used with some vaginal stimulation at the same time. You can’t have intercourse while using the toy and using a dildo and thrusting in and out will break the vacuum and it will move your entire vulva and body with it, making maintaining a constant contact between the Satisfyer and your clit impossible. But on the other hand, if you just need some fullness in your vagina while having the clitoral stimulation, you can either have a vaginal egg or balls in, or you can have a dildo in, but mainly squeeze it with your vag muscles, instead of thrusting with it.

One thing is the battery. It takes 2 and a half hours to charge, for only 30 min of play. They actually say “Usage period: approx. 30min” in the manual. What they mean by that is probably how long the battery can hold. I sincerely hope they’re not telling you how long you should be using it. That’s none of their goddamn business. I haven’t tested the 30 min thing, because I usually use it for anything between 15 and 25 and just plug it in right away, because… Ghosts of depleted batteries are chasing me in my nightmares. Toys must be charged! Who knows when the mood will strike.

And the big question… How loud is it? Well, it gets loud. LOUD. The thing is, that just in the air, by itself, it’s very loud when turned on. But once in place and using the suction, it is much quieter. It’s still fairly noisy even then, especially on settings higher that 5 or 6 (out of 11). I think it’s most quiet underwater. It doesn’t sound like a vibe though. It sounds like a hydro pump or something.

In conclusion

As I said, I think every vulva-owner should have one. The way everyone should have a vibrator. I think its pros waaaaaay outnumber the few cons that I’ve come across.

And it’s so affordable! It sells for $59.99 (and that’s without my 10% off code) at Peepshowtoys and they offer free shipping on orders over $70.

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Disclaimer: The opinions in this article are honest and unbiased. The toy was provided to me in an exchange for a review from Peepshowtoys.com


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