Satisfyer Pro Penguin Review

Satisfyer Penguin

There are going to be some of you, who will hate the looks of this toy. I know many people who almost find the color pink offensive to their feminism. I’m the kind of feminist that’s comfortable enough with embracing their feminine side, and having pink objects in my possession is far from threatening to my activism or self expression. At the same time, I’d like to acknowledge that many people with vulvas might not feel feminine and might genuinely avoid pink or fuchsia toys. So I am always kind of disappointed when toys don’t come in any other color option. At the same time I am really, really into how cute and simplistic the Satisfyer Penguin is.

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin is a toy many have been waiting for. It’s nominated for Best Powered Toy of the Year by Xbiz, as well as for Best Innovative Toy of the Year. The last one I find quite ironic, given that the Satisfyer allegedly stole the pulsation technology from the Womanizer. Anywho… After the huge success of the original Satisfyer Pro 2, the company released four new models almost simultaneously. I’ve already reviewed one of the battery operated models, the Satisfyer 2, and I’ve been extensively testing and comparing the toys. The biggest difference that the new models have, with the exception of the Satisfyer 1, is the shape of the nozzle. While the Satisfyer Pro 2 had a nozzle with a small opening, but very thick outer part, covering a larger area around the clitoris, three of the new models, including the Penguin don’t have that extra cushioning.

What is the Satisfyer?

Its’ a clitoral or nipple toy that uses a combination of pulsation and suction and is meant to be placed around the glans of the clitoris, or the nipple. It’s very gentle and subtle sensation, that on higher speed can become intense and powerful, but it’s very distinguishable from vibration. These toys also work great underwater. The closest way of describing it would be: it feels like someone performing really skillful cunnilingus on your clit.

What does the Penguin feature?

dscn3584The Penguin is a rechargeable waterproof toy, that’s made of silicone and ABS plastic. It comes in a nice box, sans a storage case, and features 11 speeds. While the 11 speed motor is a common feature of the other Satisfyers, the motors are all different for the different products (or at least, they feel different). While the Penguin is not as powerful as the original Satisfyer Pro 2, I think it’s as good an option, as the Pro 2. They’re just different, and I can’t necessarily rank one higher. The Penguin also has similar controls with the Pro 2 — one button for turning it on or off, and one for the speeds. Unfortunately the one button only circles through the speeds and cannot go back, unless you go to the highest setting, after which instead of going from 11 to 1, it starts slowing down: 11, 10, 9…. I find this really frustrating and annoying, because the speeds are so many that having to go all the way back from the start over can be exhausting. (Hence, my appreciation for the only model that has “+” and “-” controls.) It has a very comfortable to hold shape, the body of the toy is matte and totally non slippery, it’s lighter than the Pro 2 and is a little smaller, making it even even easier to take with you on a trip.

How is it different?

The Penguin comes at a slightly lower price-point. It lost the excessive noise of the motor and is now a much more discrete and non-distracting to use a toy. It’s slightly less powerful than the Pro 2, which I don’t mind, to be honest. The few highest programs of the Satisfyer Pro 2 were always a bit too much for me. The Penguin feels much more pinpoint and concentrated. It’s less overwhelming and is more gentle and nuanced.

The only thing to consider is the size of your clit and the size of the nozzle. While the opening of the nozzle is wider than the one of the original Satisfyer, the nozzle doesn’t have the additional patting covering a larger area. Which might make it unsuitable for people with larger clits, or ones who dislike too pinpoint stimulation.

Tips for using it

I am going to repeat most of the things I’ve already said about the other models. Add lube on your clit and vulva, as well as on the nozzle. Try combining wearing a butt plug, a vaginal egg or kegel balls while using the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, if you find clitoral stimulation unable to get you off alone. And definitely give it a spin underwater!

In conclusion

Satisfyer Pro PenguinThe Satisfyer Pro Penguin is a great gift for anyone who doesn’t already own a Satisfyer or a Womanizer. I would even recommend it to someone who wants to replace their older Satisfyer because of its noise levels. As with any other sex toy, there’s no guarantee it’s going to work for you or that you’re going to like it. But if you like receiving oral sex, or gentle clitoral stroking, chances are you might really like the Satisfyer Penguin. The positive reviews and feedback for these toys are far greater than the negative ones. The Satisfyer Penguin is probably one of the best models out of all. I love it’s shape, it’s matte material, its subtle pulsation. And the price of just $49 certainly doesn’t hurt either.

Disclaimer: The Satisfyer 2 was generously provided to me by Peepshowtoys in exchange for my honest review. My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By buying through them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.

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OhMiBod blueMotion Nex 2 Review

Updated on 12/19/2016.

OhMiBod blueMotion Nex 2

I’ve had my eyes on OhMiBod (aka LoveLife) toys for a while now. And one model in particular: the LoveLife Cuddle. I’ve read a great many positive reviews, and the price tag of $69 for a rechargeable vibrator just had me perplexed. How could a vaginal vibrator of such a small size get such great rating? Then OhMiBod added a bluetooth remote function and an app and called it blueMotion Nex 2. This made me extra curious to find out whether the Nex 2 was worth almost twice the Cuddle. Short answer: I  don’t think so. But we’ll get to that.

How similar is it to the Cuddle?

OhMiBod blueMotion Nex 2The blueMotion Nex 2 arrives in a stylish box (but not as small and cute as the one of the Cuddle) with a white satin storage bag.

It’s a small insertable vibe with an insertable length of 4″ and only 1.25″ of maximum girth in diameter. It has a nice and smooth silicone shaft and ABS plastic handle with three controls. It’s super easy to change speeds and vibration modes. It has 7 patterns, some of which are quite nice, and multiple speeds. It’s rechargeable, taking around 2.5 hrs to fully charge in exchange of up to 2 hrs of play. Unfortunately, it’s only splash proof, not submersible. Cleaning lube and vaginal fluids off the embedded OhMiBod letters in the silicone at he back of the toy can be a challenge. Why do companies keep making toys this way? Never mind… blueMotion Nex 2 and Cuddle are equally powerful, rumbly but quiet, and have an insanely good g-spot curve. It might not look like it, but it’s far more pleasant than many other g-spot vibrators I’ve used. It’s super easy to hold and use, and makes me orgasm both applied on my clit or in my vagina. So far, I give it 5 stars.

How does it feel?

Overall I am somewhat of a size queen. But I’ve noticed that often I like bigger objects vaginally just to make up for the lack of a g-spot curve. I squeeze my vaginal muscles around their shaft and this is how I end up applying pressure on my g-spot.

With the Nex 2 or the Cuddle, I don’t need any of that. Even its small size is enough to make me come because of how it’s shaped. But I often like using an additional clitoral vibrator, such as the We-Vibe Touch, alongside vaginal stimulation. But that’s just my jam, and that’s how I use most insertable vibrators or dildos.

What’s up with the blueMotion?

I don’t understand why they couldn’t call the Nex 2 simply Cuddle 2 to avoid the confusion. Confusion? Yes, because the blueMotion line has an entirely different toy, Nex 1, which is a pantie vibe. So, I almost got the wrong product. Names should help your purchasing experience, not have you Google things and research what’s what.

I don’t know who came up with the blueMotion line. The whole idea is that these vibrators can be controlled with the help of a mobile device, such as a smartphone or a tablet. Cool, nothing unusual here. Many people like the We-Connect app by We-Vibe and it works well for playing with a partner around the globe or in a BDSM public play scenario. Having someone wear their toy while their partner controls it, is not a fundamentally new idea. But the Nex 2 is just a regular vaginal vibrator that can’t be worn outside for public play. And it’s a vibrator that has controls which work really well, as a matter of fact I couldn’t be more happy with its well-designed buttons. Which kind of defeats the purpose of a so-so app.

If you ask me, the hole point of having someone control the vibrations of an internal vibrator is a bit non nonsensical. A lot of the pleasure one derives from an internal vibrator is from the way one moves their wrists, how they control the shaft of the toy, how they thrust in and out — all of that. Having someone controlling your vibe from around the globe, or from a distance, unfortunately doesn’t make them really in control of your pleasure. It’s a better idea in theory than in practice.

Possible Applications

I completely admit that there are many scenarios in which it could be exciting to have someone control your vibrator for you. Whether you’re in a long distance relationship, or enjoy power play and orgasm denial, the app can give you an extra dimension and more opportunities to enjoy your time together or your time apart.

Cam girls could also use this vibrator as an opportunity to connect with their clients and allow a much more interactive experience.

The app

While the app itself is not bad, I wouldn’t say that it is that necessary to the average customer or that it brings much additional value to the toy (unlike an app controlled toy is exactly what you were looking for). One big downside of the app is that it doesn’t allow you to use the toy in a steady vibration setting or easily control the speed (the way the We-Connect app does, for example). It allows you to control a few patterns (and you already have patterns on the vibe), design your own pattern, or allow the toy to create a pattern via sounds — the pattern is controlled by the loudness of a voice, music or whatever you choose to play in the background. Again, in everyday life, many of these are just novelty aspects that don’t contribute that much to the experience in practice.

Did I mention that the app allows you to record your orgasms? It literally lets you set a weekly goal of how many times you want to come. What on earth? Why would I reach to my phone and mark down that I’ve had an orgasm. In an app. In a journal, maybe… I get it that some people like sex geekery and might be excited to record that, but for an extra $60? How about notepads? Virtual or analogue? Not to mention that this puts a whole lot of pressure on you. I don’t like the aspect of asking our bodies to perform a certain way, say, come a minimum number of time a week.

In conclusion

OhMiBod blueMotion Nex 2I find the upgrade OhMiBod gave to the Cuddle a bit unnecessary for the average customer. What you get extra is  an app that’s just okay. If you are in a long-distance relationship and want to have an internal vibe that your partner can control, I strongly recommend We-Vibe Rave that is slightly cheaper and is a mind-blowing toy, that also has a good g-spot curve, and a much better app. If you just want a good g-spot vibrator, get the Cuddle, it’s virtually the same toy as Nex 2 sans the app. By all means, if you  can afford the Nex, and if you like the few extra functionalities, Nex 2 is still a good overall product. And it still manager to be cheaper than most rechargeable silicone brands, some of which don’t even come with a storage case, let alone an app. The blueMotion Nex 2 will set you back $129, while the Cuddle is just $69 and totally rocks. If you are struggling financially, don’t despair, the Cuddle is an utter delight!

Good Vibrations constantly run sales and deals and you can find their current promotions either on their website, or in my “SALES” section.

Disclaimer: OhMiBod blueMotion Nex 2 was generously provided to me by Good Vibrations in exchange for my honest review. My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By buying through them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.


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The Satisfyer Pro 2 Review

dscn9830

I really badly want to start the review with: everyone should own one. And as cheesy, and salesy as this might sound, I really DO think that…

Everyone should own one.

At this point in my life, I am pretty familiar with my own body, the spectrum of sensations I can experience, and what kind of stimulation leads to them. And it’s not like I am taking this for granted, I am constantly trying new things, products, materials, techniques, positions and I am pushing my own boundaries. So when this toy came out, I was a bit skeptical. Suction? Gentle waves? Pulsation? Na-ah! I was imagining some hugely pointless toy (that a number companies keep coming up with these days). I imagined that it was gonna suck on my clitoris in a way that will leave me screaming in pain, cursing my adventurous spirit of having to try every gadget that comes out. I thought it was either gonna be useless and super disappointing, or super painful and torturous to my clit. And I am already a power queen and often bruise the gentle skin of my vulva and the hood of my clitoris with big and super strong toys such as the Doxy Die Cast. And because I am a masturbation enthusiast (and activist for that matter), I do pleasure myself every day. This leaves my body in a constant state of bangover, chafing, bruises, friction burn and sometimes little tears.

So I definitely didn’t need a catfish sucking on my clit. Or so I thought.

Then a fellow sex toy reviewer wrote a post about the product and it said that it was stellar. So I had to challenge my snap judgments of the toy and give it the benefit of the doubt. But still, more questions kept coming up: why is it so cheap? How is it rechargeable and yet so cheap? It must suck really badly. It has pinpointed suction and pulsations towards only the glands of the clit, not the entire organ, and if it doesn’t vibrate, how is that going to stimulate the rest of the clitoris to make me reach an orgasm?

Ladies and gentleman, I do not have the answer of any of these questions. Why, how, how come… It simply works.

By the time when Peepshowtoys, one of the sex-positive and responsible stores I support, offered me to review the Satisfyer of their behalf, I couldn’t say “YES” fast enough.

The Store

The delivery from Peepshowtoys.com was really discreet and it was shipped from “Hamilton Electronics”. So your secret is safe. Your mailman, neighbors, or family members aren’t gonna find out about your little secret. Everything was secured with lots of paper, making sure that the item isn’t gonna travel around in the box during its journey to your house. And that’s key when it comes to vibrators or toys that have electronics in them.

You often see me say “sex-positive, responsible, providing education”, when I talk about the stores that I like and recommend. That’s not a “I like you, I don’t like him, you’re my friend, John isn’t, let’s not play with him” kind of thing. I have very strict criteria when it comes to stores that I endorse. Do they sell crappy, porous or toxic toys? Do they sell unsafe anal toys with no flared base? Do they have a blog, write articles, provide education to their customers? Do they sell lubricants that contain glycerin? That kind of thing. And Peepshowtoys have scored great on all of these. Not only that, but they’re really nice and helpful, they answer your questions and are present on social media, trying to create a good experience for every customer. I couldn’t ask for more.

The Product

dscn9829The Satisfyer Pro 2 looks weird(ish) and unlike almost anything else out there simply because it’s not a vibrator. It has a long handle, which is very comfortable to use and makes holding it in place really easy (and that’s crucial for this toy in particular). It has two buttons, far from each other, which make accidentally turning it off impossible. When you need to turn it on or off, you will have to hold the smaller button. The bigger oval one is controlling the speed. One criticism I have of the one button only thing is that it doesn’t have a plus or minus option. Sometimes you wanna go back and tone things down. But some of my fave vibes (We-Vibe Touch) have the same “fluke”: they only go one way because they only have one button as well. BUT (!!!) this one at least doesn’t start over when you reach the highest setting. It doesn’t go from 11 back to zero. When you reach the most powerful program, it starts “counting back”. 11-10-9… So you can slowly scale down.

What is it made of and what does it do? The body of the toy is ABS plastic and the attachment that makes contact with your clitoris is silicone, so it’s entirely body-safe and non-porous. It’s water-proof (and delicious in the tub, but more on that later), it’s rechargeable (via a magnetic charger that it comes with), and has 11 speeds! What I love about it is that it’s super lightweight, and ergonomic to hold and use… and it’s not a freaking 100 or 200 bucks.

What it does is a gentle suction and pulsations around your clit at the same time. Yes, we are talking only of the glans and the hood of the clit. The little “mouth” of the toy needs to be placed around your clitoris. So the silicone attachment embraces it all around. Try putting some lube that lets you keep even better the light vacuum that the suction makes. And as I mentioned: it can be used underwater. Having it in the tub is definitely different and really delightful. I can’t say better or worse, because it performs really well and reliably in both air and water. One totally cute thing is that when you’re done with it in the bath, it will just float on top of the water. Like a little rubber duck. For adults. Didn’t I say it was super light?

And because it uses suction, well… I HAD to try it on my nipples. People, this isn’t some super hard and painful suction. This is not a BDSM nipple suction toy. If you are looking for pain, you’re not going to find it here. But it feels really good and as close to someone delightfully sucking on my tits as I’ve experienced from a toy. Especially when lubricated. And it’s not too overwhelming, even for the most sensitive of breasts.

At Use

Satisfyer Pro 2There’s a little bit of a learning curve to this toy because what it does to your body is entirely different from anything else that you might’ve used before (unless you have the Womanizer). So there’s definitely a short moment of “is this doing anything for me”. It was really short for me, but it will take every person different amount of time to get off with it. Just within a few minutes Satisfyer Pro 2 starts feeling good… and then really good… and then it might make you cum out of nowhere, because it stimulates parts of your clit that are usually overlooked, so your body-response is going to be different from what you have from vibration. Nothing vibrates on it, and that means that the handle doesn’t either. Yay, no numb fingers anymore! Your arm and hand could get tired for an entirely different reason though. In order to keep the suction and have the toy work and be perfectly placed where you need it to be, you have to hold it in one place. Sometimes a little bit of movement breaks the suction. It’s easy to get back on track, or sometimes this leads to using it in a slightly different position that feels as good or even better.

And what I love about the orgasms with it is that they’re… easy. But what I mean by easy is that they don’t tire my entire PC muscles, it doesn’t make me cramp, it doesn’t leave me depleted. It’s just like having an orgasm, but not having gone through all the “work” and contractions of having one. (Boy I hope this makes sense.) It’s like: I just came, now I am refreshed, energized and can get shit done. Moving forward with my life. Versus: Oh boy, I will need to take a nap after this one.

Cons

The only thing that can be a deal breaker for some people is that Satisfyer Pro 2 cannot be easily used with some vaginal stimulation at the same time. You can’t have intercourse while using the toy and using a dildo and thrusting in and out will break the vacuum and it will move your entire vulva and body with it, making maintaining a constant contact between the Satisfyer and your clit impossible. But on the other hand, if you just need some fullness in your vagina while having the clitoral stimulation, you can either have a vaginal egg or balls in, or you can have a dildo in, but mainly squeeze it with your vag muscles, instead of thrusting with it.

One thing is the battery. It takes 2 and a half hours to charge, for only 30 min of play. They actually say “Usage period: approx. 30min” in the manual. What they mean by that is probably how long the battery can hold. I sincerely hope they’re not telling you how long you should be using it. That’s none of their goddamn business. I haven’t tested the 30 min thing, because I usually use it for anything between 15 and 25 and just plug it in right away, because… Ghosts of depleted batteries are chasing me in my nightmares. Toys must be charged! Who knows when the mood will strike.

And the big question… How loud is it? Well, it gets loud. LOUD. The thing is, that just in the air, by itself, it’s very loud when turned on. But once in place and using the suction, it is much quieter. It’s still fairly noisy even then, especially on settings higher that 5 or 6 (out of 11). I think it’s most quiet underwater. It doesn’t sound like a vibe though. It sounds like a hydro pump or something.

In conclusion

As I said, I think every vulva-owner should have one. The way everyone should have a vibrator. I think its pros waaaaaay outnumber the few cons that I’ve come across.

And it’s so affordable! It sells for $59.99 (and that’s without my 10% off code) at Peepshowtoys and they offer free shipping on orders over $70.

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Disclaimer: The opinions in this article are honest and unbiased. The toy was provided to me in an exchange for a review from Peepshowtoys.com


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