The Private Gym Giveaway

Private Gym Penis Kegels

It’s December! 2016 is almost over! But I couldn’t send away this year without running an end of the year giveaway. As you already know, sexual health is one of the things I greatly advocate for. I want people to have happier and more fulfilling experiences in bed. This is why Kegel exercises are of the things that I hugely recommend to everybody! I strongly believe that Kegels are for anyone, regardless of their age, gender or sexual orientation. And without further ado, I present to you this awesome giveaway of $99 value.

What are Kegels? They’re a series of exercises aimed to improve the pelvic floor muscles health and keep them toned and healthy. Kegel programs or vulva-owners often include vaginal balls. Until now there weren’t any programs that offered any kind of weights and resistance for exercises for penises. You can expect my really detailed review of the Private Gym later in December.

Enter Gleam Competition

Private Gym Complete Training Program, the #1 kegel exercise program for men. 

Strengthen your pelvic muscles with the Private Gym Complete Training Program for better sexual, urinary and prostate health. The program includes:

  • FDA registered, patented resistance ring that fits comfortably around the penis and a magnetic weight that attaches to the ring
  • Adjustable, one-size-fits all, penis weights in Charcoal Gray
  • Convenient and discreet carrying case
  • Expertly designed interactive DVD exercise program
  • Free Online Access to the Training Videos

The Competition is open until 12/31 at midnight Eastern time. The competition is open to US and Canada only. The prize is provided and sponsored by The Private Gym and Wetlandia. One winner will be drawn and contacted via email. They must provide their shipping address withing 48 hours, otherwise another winner will be selected.


If you want to learn more about the health benefits of Kegels for penis-owners, here’s some information straight from Private Gym’s website:

TREATS THESE COMMON MEN’S HEALTH ISSUES

  • IMPROVES SEXUAL PERFORMANCE & PLEASURE. Just as fitness training enhances athletic performance and endurance, pelvic muscle conditioning improves sexual performance and endurance.
  • REVERSES & PREVENTS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. More than 20% of men under 40 years old and 50% of men over 40 years old experience some form of erectile dysfunction.
  • PREVENTS PREMATURE EJACULATION. A week pelvic floor can contribute to premature ejaculation, the most common male sexual disorder.
  • PROMOTES URINARY HEALTH. Post-void dribbling, urinary incontinence and an overactive bladder can affect your lifestyle and confidence.
  • BENEFICIAL FOR PROSTATE HEALTH. Pelvic muscle exercises can increase pelvic blood flow, which is beneficial for prostate health.
  • HELPS INCREASE BOWEL CONTROL. Strong pelvic muscles can improve the tightness of the sphincter muscles to alleviate bowel urgency and leakage.
  • TREATS PAINFUL TENSION MYALGIA. The Private Gym Program can help relax the spastic muscles by focusing on the meditative, contracting and relaxing muscle phases.
  • EASES AND PREVENTS SADDLE SPORTS TRAUMA. Our pelvic muscle exercise program can ease and prevent compression trauma to the perineum.”

 

And if you can’t wait for this competition to finish and want to buy a Private Gym right now, you can go here.

Longer, Harder, Stronger - Learn More at PrivateGym.com


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Sliquid Soul Review

Sliquid Soul

You already know how crazy I am about Sliquid. It’s one of my fave intimate care brands that makes some of my top choices of lubes, intimate washes and massage oils. Everything created by them is cruelty-free, vegan, pH-balanced, non-toxic, glycerin, propylene glycol and paraben free. Need I say more?

Until now you could choose between their many different kinds of water-based lube or pick some of their silicone or hybrid options. But this year Sliquid released their first oil-based lubricant, Sliquid Soul, that also doubles as massage oil or body moisturizer.

What is made of?

Sliquid Soul ReviewSoul‘s main ingredient is coconut oil, and we all know about the amazing qualities and health benefits of this nature’s best product. When used vaginally it fights yeast infections, it provides the skin with long-lasting moisture, helps regeneration and elasticity. And most importantly, it provides a super slick lubrication. As if that wasn’t enough, but the folks from Sliquid added to the formula several other amazing organic oils.

Full list of ingredients: Organic Coconut Oil, Organic Sunflower Seed Oil, Organic Shea Butter, Organic Cocoa Seed Butter, Organic Almond Oil, Organic Apricot Kernel Oil, Natural Tocopherols (Non GMO)

The result is a stunning liquidy blend of pure slippery goodness. Because of how the oils are mixed, Sliquid Soul is unlike other oil-based lubes. It remains liquid, while most other oils stay solid and only melt upon contact with body heat.

What is it good for?

You can use Sliquid Soul for practically anything. Cracked heels, dry skin, after-shaving care, massage oil, frizz and split ends of your hair. Anything on your body that needs nourishment can benefit from it. That’s one of the reasons I like this oil-based lube so much — it’s so much more than just lube. I like traveling smart and packing light, so Sliquid Soul has me covered and replaces several body-care items that I would otherwise have pack on top of lube.

Sliquid Soul

You can use Sliquid Soul as a vaginal moisturizer as well. For those of you who suffer from vaginal dryness or reduced lubrication (for various reasons, say, drug side-effects, chemotherapy, or menopause), Soul is an excellent natural and organic option that contains nothing artificial or harmful for your body.

But you probably want to know how it performs as a sexual lubricant. Pretty spectacularly, I would have to admit. The closest I can compare Soul to is a high-quality silicone-based lube. It has the high viscosity, it’s super slippery, long-lasting, runny and liquidy. With the only difference that it’s entirely natural and it’s safe to use with all sex toys (except porous ones, which you shouldn’t be using in the first place). As you know some silicone toys are not compatible with some silicone-based libricants, and since there isn’t anything that can help you know for sure if a particular silicone lube will ruin your silicone sex toy, we always advice to avoid using these together.

Sliquid Soul ReviewSince Sliquid Soul is natural and organic it’s safe for oral sex and there isn’t anything harmful you can accidentally swallow. It does feel oily, but as long as that’s not unpleasant to you, you can go ahead and use it for oral sex (it actually moisturizes your lips and keeps them soft). It’s a really good lube for hand jobs and intimate massage. It doesn’t dry out so it’s great to use with sex toys or for intercourse. But where it really shines is anal play, whether it’s silicone butt plugs or anal sex, Soul will give you the longevity that you’re looking for from a lube when it comes to butt stuff. Since the rectum is not self-lubricating, you will need a lot of lube for anal sex. While the colon can absorb water and make water-based lube dry out after a while, an oil-based lube will last much longer and is a much better choice if you were to wear a putt plug for several hours, or have anal intercourse.

Not latex compatible

The only thing to always keep in mind is that oils degrade latex barriers and are not safe to use with most condoms or gloves. When it comes to external condoms, you can safely use Trojan Supra. Avoid latex-free condoms such as SKYN and Durex Avanti because they’re are made from Polyisoprene which still gets damaged by oil-based lubricants. And there’s, of course, the FC2 condom, which is made by nitrile and is oil-compatible as well.

Things to consider

The only thing to keep in mind is that, as with all oils, it might stain some clothes and sheets. It’s also a bit more runny than most lubes. It’s not as liquid as massage oil, but it’s more runny than Sliquid H2O. If you prefer thick gel-like lubes, you should consider Sliquid Organics Gel.
For now Soul only comes in the adorable carry-on luggage size of 2 oz. It sells for $12 at the lovely body-safe online store Peepshowtoys, but you can get it 10% off with my coupon code. It’s a long-lasting lubricant and moisturizer and despite its price tag, it’s going to last you a while.

Peepshowtoys Wetlandia's Picks

My readers get 10% off from Peepshowtoys with code “WETLANDIA”!

Disclaimer: Sliquid Soul was generously provided to me by Peepshowtoys in exchange for my honest review. My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By buying through them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.


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Svakom Nova Kegel Balls Review

Svakom Nova Kegel Balls
I used to absolutely love the Svakom Nova Balls. Until I read the manual and went to their website. Then I felt so conflicted that I postponed writing this review for a while. Why was I so torn? Because I loved the product, I still respect the company in many ways, but I have to raise some issues with their marketing.

My Beef (to put it mildly) with their Marketing

I just can’t live in a world where this official product video exists. First sentence: “According to a research from the internet most men prefer a tight vagina over a loose one because tight vagina allows them to have better sexual experiences.” Okay, f*ck everyone from the marketing team who decided this was an appropriate way to market Kegel balls. Loose vagina shaming? And the reason why you should take care of your sloppy, undesirable loose vagina is solely for… male pleasure? Oh, no, no, no! This is just horrible. And from a company that’s trying to be feminist and is supposedly all about female pleasure?

Please, Svakom, take down or edit this video. And edit the copy on the website and the product manual. This is just bellow you.

 

Svakom Nova BallsEven the product manual and the website read “We designed these exercise courses especially to help those who have a loose vagina after giving birth.” There’s a number of ways to describe body changes that occur after childbirth without calling it a “loose vagina”. And there are a million other reasons to use Kegels, besides childbirth. Kegels are for everybody. There are Kegels programs for penis-owners, there are products like the Svakom Nova Balls for vagina owners. And they’re great for all ages and stages of life. Because everyone can benefit from exercising their PC muscles. And because keeping them toned makes women orgasm more easily, enjoy sex more, experience more pleasure during partnered or solo sex. There’s your marketing message. Even if you want to exploit the postpartum market, there are sex-positive messages Svakom can use instead. For instance:  “You are a parent now, but you still deserve pleasure and you are still a sexual creature. Do this for yourself.” Tapping into female fear of loose vagina and their partner leaving them for someone younger and tighter is just a cheap dirty trick.

The Company

Svakom Nova Kegel BallsThat’s strike one, but I am not going to tell you to never buy anything from Svakom. Because there are a number of good things about them (including the actual product that is so terrifyingly marketed). Svakom is an international sex toy company that sells primarily vibrating toys, all designed in the US, according to their website. All of their products are silicone and are body-safe, aesthetically pleasing and high-quality. They make a number of really well received products (such as Keri, Echo, Mini Emma), and actually try to bring innovation to the table. They’ve created a vibrator with a camera, so you can see inside your own or your partner’s vagina, they have vibrators that feature the most long-lasting batteries on the market and provide you with up to 48 (!!) hours of playtime, and they have a couple of warming up vibes, and that’s a category that I think shouldn’t be overlooked, since temperature often is key to arousal and blood flow.

What do Kegel balls do?

dscn3027Kegel balls, or Ben Wa balls are usually a set of two vaginal balls that help you do your Kegel exercises. These are a series of voluntary squeezes of your PC muscles (Pubococcygeus muscles). And since that’s a muscle group that’s really difficult to locate and exercise in everyday life, these balls were created to help you find the muscles and do your Kegels more easily. Yoni eggs or other vaginal eggs made of crystal serve the same purpose. But there are a number of added benefits to using a set of two balls, as well as using balls that are not uniformly made from just one material, such as glass, metal, stone or crystal.

 

Kegel balls made for medical purposes or by sex toy companies have a smaller ball inside a larger sphere. Which makes the balls jiggle every time you move, step, squat, dance or stretch. With the added factor of the weight of the ball and the force of gravity, that makes the balls want to slip out of you, but the slight jiggle makes you tighten up and squeeze your PC muscles every time that happens. Your reflexes would be to not let the balls slip out. So instead of counting and keeping track of your PC muscle workout, you just put them in, walk around or do some chores, while the balls do the rest for you. Another advantage of Kegel systems, such as Svakom Nova, is that these offer progressive weights and sizes, which will allow you to gradually make your Kegel routine more difficult with time.

 

The lighter the ball(s), the easier to hold in. The bigger the size of the ball(s), the easier to hold in. That’s why usually people start with a big light ball, then move towards two balls, and increase the weight while decreasing the size. Small and heavy balls are the most challenging .

What are the benefits of Kegel exercises (aka kegels)?

Svakom Nova Kegel Balls
Toning up your PC muscles will give you better bladder control, stronger vaginal muscles, better genital blood flow; it helps with arousal (especially if you do your kegels before sex), helps you experience more pleasure, achieve orgasms more easily, and even be able to have multiple orgasms. It can reduce pain during intercourse. Clearly these are great for postpartum recovery, but I think everyone can benefit from them, at any stage of life. I would recommend kegels to anyone who’s sexually active. They really help you learn about your own body, and reflect about what feels good. And all of these squeezes and “movements” you are going to learn while squeezing the balls are super fun to apply and use during intercourse.

The Product

Svakom Nova Kegel BallsSvakom Nova Balls come in three different colors: teal, violet and bright pink/red (the teal is just gorgeous). They’re a set of three exercise balls. They come in a beautiful stylish box, which includes a 1-year warranty, and a storage bag.  Nova balls are entirely covered in silicone, including the cord, which makes them seamless and very smooth. This is one of the reasons I think they’re one of the best Kegel programs currently on the market. They’re easy to clean and truly hygienic, as you don’t get vaginal fluids or lube between the  plastic and silicone parts or on the cord (which is the case with most other Kegel Balls), they’re really smooth and feel great during use and upon insertion. The balls do have the name of the brand engraved in the silicone, but if you wash them right after use no fluid get stuck in there.
  • The first one is a big single ball with a diameter of 1.41″ (36 mm). Just for your reference, that’s the diameter of the larger Luna Beads by Lelo. It weighs 49 grams or 1.73 oz.
  • The medium size has two balls connected together, with a slightly smaller diameter of 1.26″ (32 mm) and it’s 2.65 oz (75 grams) heavy.
  • The smallest and heaviest set of two balls is just 1.10″ (28 mm) in diameter (the size of Lelo Luna Beads Mini or Noir) and it weighs 3.35 oz (95 grams) which is much heavier than the Lelo Luna Beads (which weigh a mere 74 grams).
Svakom Nova

Svakom Nova Balls dimensions. Image credit: Svakom for Amazon.

How to use it?

Kegel balls are meant to be used while you are active. They won’t do much if you’re just sitting or lying down. Sure, you can still make some use of them, but then you will have to do your counts and voluntarily exercise. Ideally you should be wearing them while walking, running, dancing, swimming, doing squats or stretching. They’re entirely waterproof. The suggested use is 30 minutes a day. You start with the biggest and lightest ball and use that one for 30 days, and move to the more challenging one after a month.

 

I would suggest using a good quality water-based lube for insertion. Don’t overdo it with the lube because if things are too slippery it’s going to be extra challenging to keep the balls inside (which you can do later when you’ve mastered the heaviest ball to make things even more advanced). The easiest way to place them inside is lying down. If you are new to kegel balls, please do your first experiments at home where you can easily remove them, if needed. The last thing you want to happen is for you to be at the shopping mall or doing your workout at the gym and freak out that the balls are going to slip out. Wearing tight underwear and something that gives more support (panties instead of a g-string) and maybe wearing pants or tights, not a skirt or a dress, can make you feel more comfortable when you wear them in public, so even if they start slipping out, your underwear and clothes can keep them inside instead of rolling down the floor or the sidewalk.

 

Svakom Nova Kegel BallsBen Wa balls are super fun to use right before sex because they will get you really warmed up. You will have enough circulation in your genitals, and you will in generally feel more aroused (I personally feel really horny after my kegels). They’re something really hot for you to include in your foreplay or as a teasing tool. Let your partner know you’re wearing them during dinner. Have them lick the balls clean for you, after you’ve used them. Have them tease your clit or use an external vibrator while the balls are still in. You can wear them vaginally during anal intercourse. Or wear them during oral sex (both receiving or performing). The possibilities are endless. And if you’ve read Fifty Shades of Gray and if you’re wondering: yes, you could wear then while being spanked.

You can get the Svakom Nova Balls from LUVOQA for $59.

Disclaimer: Svakom Nova was generously provided to me by the company in exchange for my honest review. My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By buying through them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.


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Sliquid Splash Intimate Wash Review

Sliquid Splash

What’s wrong with washing my vulva with soap and water?

Note: Vulva is everything on the outside. Vagina is the orifice. Ergo you wash your vulva, not your vagina. Douching, which is also not good for your feminine health, involves your vagina. While taking a shower, you are washing your vulva.

The vagina is self-cleansing and maintains a very delicate balance. It has a very low pH, which is crucial for the survival of lactobacilli, the good bacteria that help you naturally fight off bacteria and infections. There is already a really long list of things that can affect your intimate pH, such as taking antibiotics, a huge list of medications, a diet with too many sugars, bad lube, your menstruation, sperm (yes, actually sperm is alkaline and if you have your partner ejaculate regularly inside of you, that can be contributing to infections and irritations too). This is why it’s really hugely important to daily wash with a product that is made specifically for the needs of your feminine parts. Unfortunately soap and body washes do the opposite. Soapy water’s pH can vary from 8 to 11, depending on the brand of soap, which is extremely alkaline. The optimal vaginal pH is fluctuates between 3.8 and 4.5 (menopausal women have higher pH), which is acidic. If you are washing your vulva with soap and water you’re only contributing to the problem (remember that list of things that is constantly tipping the scale in the bad direction?). This is why vulva owners should use intimate washes matching the acidity of the region.

Intimate washes are not made-up products. They’re not like intimate deodorants. They are a real thing and using soap instead can cause you really serious consequences. Sadly, there’s a whole industry thriving on creating fake needs and problems, projecting negative body images, and feeding on “The woman’s greatest insecurity: a smelly vagina”. See Sarah Silverman in “We Are Miracles“. And as much as I liked the show and agreed with what Sarah said, nope, you should not wash your vulva with what you’re using for your ass. You can, though, use your intimate wash for your ass too. No harm in that.

Intimate washes are yet another thing you weren’t taught about in sex ed class but they should have. Every vulva-owner should start using one (instead of soap or shower gel) around the age of 10, when hormone changes start occurring. It’s absolutely crucial during puberty, because that’s the time when a lot of girls start getting their first yeast infections (because of menstrual blood, hormone changes, bad diet, not showering right away after gym class, etc).

There are a number of products you can find at the drugstore or at your gyno’s office. While the one’s that your MD recommends are usually a better option, the ones at the drugstore are sometimes of questionable quality and contain harsh ingredients and chemicals too.

About Sliquid

Sliquid is a brand that focuses on healthy, organic, natural, pH balanced, vegan, glycerin, propylene glycol, glycerol and paraben free intimate products. They don’t test their products on animals. Sliquid are most famous for their lubricants (which I absolutely love), but they have a whole line of intimate washes, shaving creams and body oils. Sliquid Splash is their line of feminine washes that only differ in their scents: there’s the Naturally Unscented, Mango Passion, Honeydew Cucumber, and Grapefruit Thyme (which I am reviewing here).

About Sliquid Splash

Sliquid Splash comes in a pretty 8.5 oz recyclable bottle that is completely in line with their other products. Their packaging is really stylish, it looks like any other personal care item you have in your shower or night drawer. It says “gentle feminine wash” in small letters. The bottle is a very good value size that is going to last you a long time.

List of ingredients: Purified H2O, Cocoamphoacetate*, Coco Betaine*, Lauryl Glucoside*, Sea Salt, Citric Acid, Organic Extracts of Hibiscus, Flax, Green Tea, and Sunflower Seed, Potassium Sorbate, Essential Oil Fragrances. * Derived from coconut oil

Sliquid SplashIt has a gentle silky consistency, it’s not too liquidy and you only need a small amount of it. I’ve tried the unscented one at my girlfriend’s house, and it’s really neutral. I would recommend it to people who are too sensitive to scents and aromas. The smell of the scented version is strong. I love the grapefruit-thyme because it has this very refreshing citrus smell, but not everyone likes that for their intimate parts. I’ve used the wash for a fair amount of time and it hasn’t caused me irritations, nor any disbalance (and one can tell pretty quickly if something is throwing their vaginal flora off). If feels really nice and non-intrusive, and it doesn’t have any harsh chemicals in it. I can frankly say it’s one of the best intimate washes I’ve used. (And I’ve been using them since I was 12. Luckily I was taught not to use soap.)

You can get yours directly from Sliquid under their Balance line or at most sex-positive sex stores. It sells for $14 for 8.5 oz.

Use code “Wetlandia” to get 10% off of your purchase from Sliquid.

Disclaimer: Sliquid Splash was generously provided to me by Sliquid in exchange for my honest review. I believe my opinions in this post have not been altered by that. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By using them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.

Sliquid Intimate Lubricants


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There’s Nothing Wrong with You if You Need Lube

Sexual Lubricants

When it comes to our bodies and how they work, we want them to always be responding. Whenever we ask them to. And when things don’t go our way, we want quick fixes. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If something can lessen our suffering or frustration, why shouldn’t we take immediate advantage of it? If science has an answer for it, and if we can easily find the solution, we don’t waste a second and get a doctor’s prescription, or drive to the drug store in the middle of the night.

Sexual LubricantsAnd yet when it comes to vaginal lubrication we expect our body to always be good to go. If we’re turned on, we shouldn’t need extra lube. And we take it as a personal failure if that’s not sufficient. The “we” in the last sentence being ALL of us. We, women, because we’ll blame ourselves and assume that it’s our fault, and that there’s something wrong with us. But men as well, because they tend to think they’re doing something wrong, and that they’re not good enough if we’re not an everlasting spring. There’s so much shame around using extra lube and not being moist enough. Yet there’s no shame if our eyes don’t produce enough lubrication and we use some Visine instead. We wouldn’t go: “Oh, her eyes are so dry when she’s with me, why am I not sufficient enough for her, why does she need to use any eye drops”.

A lot of things can affect a woman’s vaginal moist, and it doesn’t only happen to menopausal women. What can be causing your vaginal dryness?

  1. The pill and other hormonal contraception. If you are on any form of hormonal birth control (the pill, shots, the implant, hormonal IUDs) that’s going to change the thickness of your cervical mucus and could cause vaginal dryness. Given that a lot of women start taking the pill even before losing their virginity, for a number of girls dryness is status quo.
  2. Your menstrual cycle. Your body’s ability to self-lubricate changes throughout your monthly period. You are probably going to be very dry during your period and the days leading to it. If you’re using tampons, that’s going to additionally make you sore to the extent that intercourse can be quite painful a couple of days after you’ve had your period.
  3. Being dehydrated overall. Not drinking enough water throughout the day is bad enough as it is, but is a borderline health hazard during sex when you’re going to get aroused, sweat, and even get a fair amount of exercise. Pro tip: drinking plenty of water is really important for oral and anal sex as well; in general, keep a bottle or glass next to your bed.
  4. Alcohol, cigarettes, or just having smoked some pot. All these substances can make you very dry. While the effect of cigarettes come with longer term use, alcohol and weed can make you dry right away.
  5. Lack of sleep, fatigue, stress. Have you noticed how tired and terrible your skin looks like when you’ve under-slept or stressed? Lack of rest and time for regeneration affect your private tissues as well.
  6. Douching. Vaginal douching is not only causing you dryness, but also disbalancing your flora (the good bacteria and microorganisms that keep your vagina healthy and prevent infections), and your pH.
  7. Allergy and some cold meds. One of the side-effects of antihistamines is that they can cause intimate dehydration. The effect is temporary and only lasts while you’re on the drugs.
  8. Childbirth and nursing. Your postpartum body is going to lack the progesterone and estrogen needed to produce lubrication and your hormonal levels are going to remain low while you’re breastfeeding.
  9. Menopause. The post menopausal body isn’t producing enough estrogen either and the elasticity of the vaginal walls is decaying as well.
  10. Lack of or too little foreplay. Not giving your body enough time to get aroused and skipping foreplay can make sex so much less enjoyable, and even painful.
  11. Bad over-the-counter lubricants. The most popular lube brands, and the ones you can find in the any drugstore or grocery store, usually contain glycerin and propylene glycol. These ingredients are really heavy and bad for your body. They will make things slippery during use, but what they actually do is they deplete your cells’ own water supplies and leave them really dry and prone to tears.

 

Sexual Lubricants

Just Add Lube!

Whether you’re 21 or 51 there’s nothing wrong in “fixing” what’s temporarily or more permanently not “working”. Using a sexual lubricant makes sex tenfold more enjoyable. It decreases the risk of damaging the gentle mucous membrane of your vagina or your penis, and helps prevent friction burn and discomfort. It also reduces the risk of STI transmission: both because micro tears on your tissue make you more susceptible, and because the lack of proper lubrication highly increases the risk of condom breakage and failure.

So do your sex life a favor, and get your essentials from a sex-positive store nearby or online. Always keep a bottle of lube on your nightstand and a little sample in your purse.


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Does it really matter what your sex toys are made of? You bet.

Perhaps you are tired of ads and labels trying to tell you that their product is the best, made of safe, organic, responsible, good-for-you, touched-by-a-magical-fairy materials. Everything nowadays is USDA organic, everything is the purest. Or maybe you are simply tired of marketing trying to scare you. Being told that you’re going eventually have cancer, or get whatever disease, or experience this and that negative effect if you keep eating, buying or using what you’ve been having so far isn’t everybody’s favorite topic. First, because we think that whoever is saying that their product is good, healthy or safe is lying. And second, because we don’t want to be scared, finding out that what we’ve been using until today has actually been really bad for us. I can understand why this topic can be tricky and why people are pushing back from the hippy-dippy wave. I totally get the: “If I hear the phrase locally-grown heirloom tomatoes once more I am gonna scream into a pillow”.

Well, I am a sex educator. And as such, I want to make sure that you’re not gonna make the same decisions I made a couple of years ago, due to lack of knowledge and enough information. What am I talking about? Yes, I too used to have a lot of cheap sex toys. I too thought that I could save some money and that I didn’t need silicone, for instance. I too ended up spending actually more, because of trying to be cheap, than what I would’ve spent if I knew better. I am going to soon write an article about how to get inexpensive and affordable sex toys, which are still body-safe, non-porous and good for you, but let’s start with A-B-C and find out why do you in fact need to buy toys made of one of the following materials.

body-safe silicone sex toys

(Please clear your cookies before clicking on any of my links to retailers. By doing that you are helping me support this blog at no additional cost to you.)

Silicone

Ahhh, the silicone. How could I not start the list with it? Silicone is the emperor of body-safe materials. It has a certain amount of flexibility and is a great material for anything you can think of: dildos, vibrators, cock rings, butt plugs. These days more and more companies are offering silicone sex toys. You can have it in all imaginable colors and different finishes. It can be glossy and shiny, or matte, more squishy, or really hard (most vibes or toys that have some mechanics in them have barely any to absolutely no give or flexibility, even if they’re covered with silicone). You can boil it, or use a 10% bleach solution for sanitizing it. If you are not sharing it with other partners, simply washing with a toy cleaner or soap after using it is enough. But even if you can’t wash it right away, it’s not gonna harbor any bacteria. No need to store it separately in a bag or a pouch. It doesn’t get too cold, it usually has a very comfortable temperature. And it’s not too heavy. What more to ask for? Its only downside is that used anally it can keep some remaining smell, which will take time for you to get rid of (a post about that coming soon too). Think of silicone ice trays: if you put coffee in them, they’re gonna smell of coffee.

Trusted brands: for dildos: Tantus (US based), G-silicone aka Godemiche (UK based), Vixen Creations, Vamp Silicone, FunkIt Toys, Frisky Beast, Bad Dragon. Stores like Good Vibrations, Lovehoney, and The Pleasure Chest have their own lines of silicone toys as well. For vibrators and anal toys: Lelo, We-Vibe, Fun Factory, Je Joue, JimmyJane, Jopen, OhMiBod, Leaf, PicoBong, L’Amourose, B-vibe, Nexus, Aneros

Stainless Steel

stainless steel sex toysAmazing high-end material, that’s going to outlive you. These toys are just insertables, they don’t have motors. There are the dildos and the double ended toys, and of course, the butt plugs. A lot of BDSM gear is made of steel: cages, some parts of restraint and bondage systems, even penis plugs. It’s a heavy material, which makes your toy not the most travel-friendly. On the other hand, it’s great for temperature play. You can run some warm water and have your toys slightly hotter than your body temperature. It feels mind-blowing and is great for arousal and blood circulation. It’s amazingly easy to clean and it doesn’t hold any smells.

Trusted brands: Njoy, Pretty Plugs

Aluminum

Aluminum has similar qualities to steel, but is lighter and in general cheaper.

Trusted brands: Crowned Jewels, Tantus Alumina series

Glass

Glass toys are pretty awesome for temperature play too. You can’t put them in boiling water for sanitizing purposes, but you can use them for temperature play: use warm running water, or a bowl. Or leave them in the fridge. They can look really beautiful and usually have cool designs. The good brands offer really strong glass that is most likely not going to break even if you drop it. Avoid cheap glass toys under $50. Don’t buy glass butt plugs with loops at the end and handles. They can break even while using them. If you want a glass toy but are not able to afford a high-end one, stick to clear glass (avoid colorful glass toys, because in cheap toys the color is usually achieved with some questionable polish or finish that starts chipping off; it’s not an actual colored glass). All glass toys are quite heavy and generally fragile, making them poor travel companions.

Trusted brands: Fucking Sculptures, Crystal Delights, Luscious Playthings, Standard Glass, Simply Blown

Wood

If you take good care of your wooden sex toys, they’re gonna last you a lifetime. They’re light and environmentally friendly. What makes quality wooden toys expensive is that they’re hand-made and the finish that’s used on them is medical grade. Anything else will start cracking or the wood will swell after washing several times.

Trusted brand: NobEssence

ABS plastic

It’s rare these days to find toys entirely made of ABS plastic. Usually bullet vibes, such as the We-Vibe Tango, are made of plastic. What’s most common is that the handle and the controls of silicone vibes are made of plastic. Vibrators by Lelo are a good example of that. Plastic is absolutely hard and usually shiny.

Crystals and stone

These days there are more and more dildos, anal plugs and vaginal eggs made of granite, onyx, jade and other stones or crystals. They’re widely used in Tantra practices. Toys made of these materials are really heavy and are usually expensive.

Trusted brands: Chakrubs, Laid

On the other hand

Toys made of the above materials are not just body-safe, but they’re non-porous as well. Which means that they will not harbor bacteria that lead to infections. No amount of washing, cleaning, disinfecting, or soaking in bleach solution will remove what’s stuck on your toys if they’re porous. A lot of porous toys contain phthalates and plasticizers that are highly toxic. They can cause irritation, toxic-shock syndrome, chemical burn, and bacterial vaginosis. Even if you’re not experiencing these symptoms or anything unusual, your toys will start deforming and smelling really foul. It’s highly recommended that you toss them away after a year, and that you use condoms with them. So really, if you do the math (even just the cost of condoms), it’s really not worth it in the long run. Not to mention the medical issues associated with nasty infections.

Warranty

All of the above brands have at least 1 year warranty. With rubber and jelly toys you never get that because they usually fall apart much faster.

What to avoid

Avoid toys made of: TPR, TPE (thermoplastic Elastomer), rubber, jelly, elastomers.

The emotional side

Cheaper and low-quality toys can mess with your head and emotions too. They often come in repulsive and superficial packaging that can make you feel dirty (not in a good way), and even put you off sex or off buying a sex toy for a while. Why would you get something that makes you feel disgusted by yourself?

How to get it right every time

body-safe silicone sex toysOkay, I get it. A lot of people don’t really care what their toys are made of. Reading one more label: no way! So I am going to make it really simple for you. One way of making sure that a toy is body-safe is to consider the manufacturer and/or retailer. If a toy is made by a trusted and reputable brand, that’s been known for making body-safe premium toys, you aren’t gonna get it wrong. But many of these brands have their cheap replicas and counterfeits in places like eBay, AliBaba or AliExpress. Amazon is flooded with crappy fakes too. Another way to make sure you are getting the real deal is by always shopping from the manufacturer or a good sex shop. Take a look at my directory of reputable retailers. Most of these stores will not even carry jelly and rubber toys. Or will be very clear about it. Unfortunately, Lovehoney still has a ton of non body-friendly materials. But at least they will never call “silicone” something that is not.

What about men?

Unfortunately, most “male” sex toys, such as masturbators, strokers, masturbation and stamina sleeves are made of TPE or some kind of elastomers. I would recommend sticking to brands such as Tenga or Fleshlight, taking good care of your toys and getting rid of them after one year of use. Luckily, Bad Dragon is offering penetrable toys made of silicone. One thing about them is that they design fantasy toys; so don’t expect the realism you will get from Fleshlight. I personally think it’s less creepy to go with a fantasy toy or with some of the futuristic Tenga designs, than with a weird looking sleeve that has a mouth, a vulva or an anus at the end, but that’s just my own preference, as a non-penis owner. Just as I don’t really like “female” sex toys that are too realistic and resemble a penis too much. Inexpensive body-safe masturbators I can recommend are the Tenga Eggs. Quick tip about sleeves and masturbators: soak them in warm water before use. You don’t want to put your penis in something even slightly cooler than body temperature.

Last words

silicone body-safe toysI certainly understand the appeal of cheap toys and feeling that you are getting so much for so little. Everyone loves a bargain. Being able to grab several things and still have your total under $100 is a call I couldn’t resist for a while too. Until I was able to compare quality sex toys made by Lelo and some cheap jelly deals that I’d bought in the lonely nights of a long-distance relationship. When the toxic toys started smelling weird, getting sticky and melting next to each other I had to throw them all away, not long after purchasing them. If I had to put together all the weird crap that I’ve “invested” in, now I can easily see that I ended up spending what could’ve gotten me several good quality toys. What you put next to or inside your private parts is really, really important. As important as what you eat. Don’t overlook what you’re using for your pleasure, and don’t be missing out on the pleasure you can have. Good companies invest in research, innovation and design. And the products that you’re buying from them will bring you much more satisfaction. Believe me! You deserve it.

If you ever have questions or doubts about particular toys, don’t hesitate to ask me. If I don’t know the answer, I will research the brand and the manufacturer, and will give you guidelines on how to be able to tell what’s what.

Note: A great resource on safe materials is Lilly’s blog.


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Why is myLAB Box Your Best Summer Friend?

My Lab Box home STI testing kit

I’m going to try to make this article less uncomfortable. I’m only going to use “STI testing” in the second sentence. Better? Probably not.

Most of us start feeling really uncomfortable and uneasy when STIs or getting tested are mentioned. We all have our good reasons for it. Is it because we’re scared to even know, or because we think it cannot happen to us? Or because STIs carry this huge stigma in our society, or because your health care practitioner never handles the topic very well? The fact is that most people have never been tested for STIs, and the percentage of those who haven’t been tested recently is even higher.

We all have awkward stories and deeply unpleasant experiences at the doctor’s office. Not a small number of professionals shame their clients for their sexual behavior or history (even if implicitly), are rude and impolite, or simply too nosy or presumptuous.

What if I told you there’s an easier way to get tested? At the privacy of your own home (or anywhere else) with the precision of a lab test. Alone: no doctors, no nurses, no explanations. You heard correctly!

MYLAB BOX, INC. is a home testing kit that is available nationwide. You order it online, receive it by the mail in a discreet package, take your own specimen, and send it back to be tested in a lab. The kit even comes with a priority mail envelope, so you can easily send it back without having to go to the nearest post office. Just drop it off at the mail collection box. What’s best is that the results come back online to you. To complete all of these steps takes only 5-8 days!

Even if you are a sex-positive, progressive person who doesn’t shy away from their MD, you probably know somebody who isn’t as assertive and who won’t ask their doctor to get tested. Or simply wouldn’t know where to go. Safety is the best present you can give to someone. Whether it’s your introvert best-friend, or your teenage kid, who’s going off to college this fall, you can tell people about this product, or buy it for those that you care about.

The most important question: how to get it? Simply order it from myLABBox.com.

Why is myLAB Box your best friend in the hot steamy summer months?

My Lab Box  home STI testing kit

myLAB Box  is cooling off at the pool, while enjoying safer sex and summer adventures

Summer is the season of travel, flirts, flings and probably the most casual sexual encounters. With myLAB Box you can get tested anytime, anywhere (a hotel room, in your RV, in a public restroom). You don’t have to know a local clinic, you don’t have to set up an appointment, you don’t have to talk over the phone with anyone, and you certainly don’t have to go to an office. If you are gonna be away for longer and want to get your routine screening while on the trip, you can order it in advance, and take it with you on your summer vacation. Packing and making itineraries can be stressful, so it’s not surprising that most people don’t have time to visit their doc before leaving. Now you can get tested on the go and have the peace of mind to enjoy your time off. And if you happen to meet a new summer flirt or your big love on the road, you can both know your status and start things off in an honest and safe way.

Depending on where in the country you’re located, sometimes the nearest clinic or lab can be more than 150 mi away from you. Not to mention that getting tested could be expensive, especially if your health insurance doesn’t cover it. In most cases, even if you have coverage, your insurance guidelines will probably only recommend one screening a year, which for many people is far from enough. MyLAB Box offers the cheapest prices for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis, and roughly the same prices for HIV testing. (Note: some organizations offer free HIV testing, but that always requires going to an office.) You can purchase it with your FSA card, as it qualifies as a health care cost. You can “mix and match” the different tests, making your own bundle of STI tests – if you are concerned about a particular infection.

My Lab Box  home STI testing kit

myLAB Box is as essential as your First Aid Kit

Do you love oral sex? Let me guess: yeah, you do! And do you use a barrier protection for blow jobs? If you don’t use condoms for oral sex, you are still exposing yourself to the risk of chlamydia and gonorrhea. Both STIs can be present in the throat and the anus, not only in the genitalia. The folks from myLAB Box thought of that too – one of the packages they offer is their “all around” box, which tests all of your three orifices for gonorrhea and chlamydia.

And last but not least: safe is sexy. Trust me on this one: nobody likes “sketchy” when it comes to knowing your STI status. Enjoy your summer adventures, and don’t forget to buy enough condoms and lube. You will need them! (wink)

Further reading: Go to MYLAB BOX, INC. if you have any questions about the product. They have an extensive FAQ list. And if you’re still wondering how to bring the subject up with a new (potential) partner, there’s Reid Mihalko’s Safer Sex Elevator Speech.

Note: myLAB Box doesn’t offer HSV-1 or HSV-2 (herpes simplex virus), HPV (human papilloma virus), syphilis, or Hepatitis B or C screening. You will need to see a doctor or go to a lab for those tests.

Disclaimer: myLAB Box was generously provided to me free of charge at Sex Geek Summer Camp as a gift product to test. My personal opinion has not been altered and this is an honest review and a reflection of my opinion of the product. Affiliate programs and complimentary products in exchange for writing a review help run this website and allow me to share up-to-date sexual education with my readers.


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Wetlandia’s very first blog post

njoy toys

njoy pure plug large, njoy pure wand and njoy fun wand, all enjoying the company of a beautiful blossoming orchid

Why did I decide to start a sex and human sexuality blog? It’s so, so simple. Because I really like sex. Nope. I actually deeply and profoundly love sex. I think it’s (or at least it should be!) one of the most beautiful, sacred, and transcendent experiences one can have in their lives.

I am sick of seeing sex dragged into the mud, frowned upon, denied and taken away from people. I am angry about having to apologize, having to be polite and “civilized”, having to censor myself. I am so tired of not being able to talk about sex. As freely, as often, as openly, as frankly, and as graphically as I wish.

I want to normalize sex. Because sex is normal and natural. And if people read more about it, if they saw it in its every-day glory, in its simple human side, maybe they wouldn’t beat themselves up for having certain thoughts or desires, or point a finger at one another, or bottle it up deep into their minds and souls.

I believe that everyone deserves pleasure and that we all have the human right of sexual health. But with it comes huge responsibility. Throughout life no one teaches us how to experience, ask for, or give pleasure. In fact what we learn is that pleasure is dirty and shameful, that our desires are wrong.

We all need allies and friends in the quest for better sex. We don’t just need resources or education. We need understanding, we need to remind ourselves that we’re not alone. We need to know that others make mistakes too, that others aren’t perfect. And just like you, I’ve succeeded but also failed a good number of times.

Why Wetlandia? I can’t quite remember how I came up with it. I knew I wanted a catchy and easy to remember name for my website, suggestive, but not too explicit. Enough to kindle one’s imagination, but leave it ambiguous enough that the thought of being caught at work reading it wouldn’t scare people away. Maybe it’s some reference to Alice in Wonderland. Maybe at the time I was reading about the striking wetlands of Pantanal in Brazil. But what made me choose it and stick with it was when I shared the name with my partner and asked him for some thoughts and feedback. His reaction was “well, it makes me thing of wet pu**ies”. And I said to myself – yes, that’s exactly what the world needs, that’s exactly what women (and men for that matter) deserve – more wet pu**sies. Wetter pu**ies.

Fast forward several months, and here we are today: after I’ve dealt (barely) with my inner demons, impostor syndrome, and the “who’s EVER gonna read my blog” crisis, writing my first blog post, having a website and getting sh*t done.

Let the journey begin…

(By the way, dealing with my demons took 4 months, creating the website, a logo, social media channels and all that took a week. Talk about your fears being your worst enemy.)


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