Alan… Dear Alan, I was so freaked out when I first opened the package from Tantus and saw… you. Staring at me from the transparent Tantus box. All realistic, veiny, lots of detail, average-sized dildo with zero curve to it. A straight dick in a box. Oh, boy, what did I sign up for?
To give you some context, I do own a fair number of Tantus toys in my personal toy box. But most of them are among their older creations: some of which are discontinued, some of which are just old news in this community. I needed my posts to be relevant, and most importantly, to be review things one can actually purchase. I don’t need to brag that I have the whole Tantus Alumina line and you can’t get it anywhere now. Ooops, I just did it! But at least I didn’t write a whole post about it and rub it in your face. So while I was exchanging emails with the Tantus team about which of their products I wanted to review, I clearly had to pick the Rumble (a review coming up soon) and I definitely needed to ask for a dual density silicone toy, since I don’t own one. So I was up for a surprise when it came to which toy it would actually be.
I came back from my trip to New York where I had spent the weekend at the Sexual Health Expo, and there was this wonderful surprise from Tantus in my mail. But I was not mentally prepared for Alan. For whatever reason my first thought was: Wow, that’s an ugly toy. I hope it doesn’t suck, because I would hate to give Tantus a bad rep. For whatever reason I thought that this dildo was doomed and the lack of pronounced (or any!) g-spot curve wouldn’t do anything for me.
All Tantus products come in this very neutral, plain box that shows you what’s actually inside. Bear in mind, this particular box is huge. It’s not like your regular Tantus dildo box, that can easily fit in a wine bag. And that’s because the product comes with a suction cup and a bullet vibe included. Which makes Alan and it’s bigger brother Sam the only two vibrating O2 dildos by Tantus, and the only two O2 ones that are suction cup compatible. Which is a big deal, as you will see later in the review. The package doesn’t include any storage bag, and truth be told, Tantus doesn’t really need it. It’s not made of TPR, or jelly, it’s good quality silicone. It can touch other toys, their products are sturdy and kick-ass, so even if there’s another heavy toy on top of them they’re not gonna get deformed.
Okay, what’s that O2 thing I keep ranting about?
Tantus makes silicone toys with two different silicone formulas. Their original silicone is harder, and has very little squish or give to it. The O2 dual density silicone, the one Alan is made of, feels more like a real penis, it’s softer and more bendy. When I unboxed Alan, and first touched it, I was… underwhelmed. I don’t know why I thought it should be more squishy and soft. But then during use, Alan proved me completely wrong (again). It was actually exactly as soft as I needed it to be. Anything softer was not going to apply enough pressure and give me as much pleasure.
So Alan had lots of tricks and surprises up its sleeve. All of my first impressions were so, so wrong.
What is it like?
The new O2 vibes (Alan, Sam, the Uncuts) are… very realistic. They have veins, and pores, and you can even see the frenulum very clearly. To the extent that all these models can be a little triggering for some people, because they’re lifelike to an extent that it can be creepy (the Uncanny Valley theory was pointed out to me by my partner who freaked out when he saw Alan for the first time). I personally have no problem with realism in dildos. As it turned out, actually my vagina really likes realistic dildos. They feel… familiar. They evoke a – Well, hello again, I think we’ve met before, I like you! – response in my body.
Despite how boring, and average sized a dildo (with its 1.54″ diameter and 6.5″ insertable length) Alan seems to be, it is not. It is so much more than meets the eye. It just feels absolutely natural. Long enough to be comfortable for me to hold it and use it by myself, girthy enough to be filling, while at the same time not being a challenge to take in right away.
The newer O2s are unlike the first generation O2s which had a matte shaft and glossy silicone penis glans. The whole toy is made of the same material in this case. It feels a bit more tacky and definitely attracts all the dirt, fluff, dust and hair. Alan is different from most Tantus dildos in another way: it still has a flared base, but a much smaller one. It’s teardrop shaped, like the one on Slick. Which makes Alan almost unable to stand upright. Which is a little annoying, because one of the great features dildos have is their ability to stand upright and dry out or wait for you to reach out for them without actually touching any surfaces (very hygienic and handy if you’re using several toys per play session or just drying out toys after cleaning them). Sadly, Alan usually loses its balance and falls down after a bit. So you will need some tray to leave it in while drying.
How can one use it?
What I love about Alan is that it’s really versatile. It can be used just as a dildo, but it’s also suction cup compatible, which allows for some great hands-free dildo riding. You can attach it to a flat plastic, wooden or metal chair and ride on it, or have it attached to a vertical surface, such as the wall in your shower (the suction works particularly well on bathroom tiles). I love using it that way, it adds up to the realistic feeling of being penetrated, and also leaves my hands free for using a wand vibrator on my clit, while humping the dildo.
And here’s what’s unique about Alan (and I assume Sam as well). The hole that holds the bullet vibe is really deep. Which means that the whole vibe can go in all the way, not stick out in the same fashion vibes tend to stick out a little bit of other Tantus dildos. Which means that you can have the vibe in while using the dildo with a strap on and not get your mons hurt or bruised by the sticking end of the vibe. That feature makes it extremely difficult to remove the bullet afterwards and switch to the suction cup. So my trick is that when I use the bullet, I lube the hole thoroughly making the vibe easier to extract. Don’t use lube with the suction cup because you actually need that friction for it to work, and it’s also not that difficult to remove.
Alan is a good one for anal play and pegging. It’s not beginner friendly, but it’s not too challenging either. The softness of the material and lack of any ridges or well-expressed bumps makes it a really good butt toy.
A few words about the vibe. It is battery operated and comes with a 1.5 V Type battery included (like any other vibrator by Tantus). It’s a single speed vibe that’s also waterproof. You can use it separately for clitoral stimulation and it’s quite good at that because it’s very pinpointed. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not We-Vibe Tango, and when inserted in the toy it clearly feels weaker. So if you own a more powerful bullet vibe, there’s nothing that stops you from using it with any Tantus dildo.
Alan taught me that I cannot judge a toy entirely by its looks, nor even by how it feels in my hands. It surprised me in many delightful ways and I am thankful to Tantus for giving it to me to review. It showed me how narrow-minded I was when it came to dildos and their shapes. Alan might look like a boring unimpressive dildo, but it’s not. It’s full of pleasant delights. It comes in 3 colors: cream, cocoa, and mocha (the one in my pictures is cocoa). It might look like a splurge at $129.00, but this is a really good value pack, because it includes the suction cup (which otherwise is $33.60 alone).
Often Tantus toys are on sale and if you want to get you Alan on some awesome deal, check regularly my SALES page.
Disclaimer: Alan O2 was generously provided to me by Tantus in exchange for my honest review. I My opinions and thoughts in this post reflect my experience with the product and are not altered in any way. I am using affiliate links in this post, which help me support this blog. By using them you’re giving me the opportunity to keep up the good work.