B-Vibe Rimming Plug Review

B-vibe Rimming Butt Plug

B-Vibe‘s Rimming Plug was such exciting news in the world of anal sex toys. Finally some new invention and development in the butt world! (As you could guess yourself, the B in b-Vibe stands for butt.) How is it different and how does it mimic rimming? A lot of sex toy manufacturers have tried to imitate oral sex for instance, and most of these toys have failed greatly.

The Rimming Plug has rotating beads in its neck, just like the beads used in some rotating rabbit vibrators. Unlike them though: these actually really work and are very powerful. The plug also has a separate vibrating motor located in the tip of the toy. We’ll get more into its settings soon, but first things first!

Packaging and getting started

B-vibe Rimming Butt Plug remote and caseB-Vibe is really, really gorgeous. It’s fancy and high-quality, but at the same time the box is somewhat fun and friendly. In all of their marketing materials they use images of very diverse couples. Not straight white couples (not that there’s anything wrong with being straight or white). They make it clear that this toy is great for solo use, for gay couples, hetero couples, butts with prostate, butts with no prostate. It comes with a detailed but comprehensive instruction book and a 1 year warranty. When you open the box you see a really sleek and fancy teal case. The case is really light, but provides enough protection for your toy, as it is resting in a specially designed plastic cast: so the plug doesn’t travel around the box. Even if you decide to throw that one away, the plug had a travel lock protection, so it won’t go off accidentally. It has a remote control whose color matches the color of your plug. The rimming plug comes in black and teal. All the cases are teal though. It’s a rechargeable toy and comes with a USB magnetic charger. You can fit all this in the case, and even have some spare space to store some lube inside. (Never forget lube! Especially for anal adventures!)

Material and shape

B-vibe Rimming Butt Plug

It’s made of a very soft (but not squishy), really matte silicone. It’s just so velvety to touch! This toy isn’t your usual silicone plug. It has a hard core underneath the silicone and it has almost zero bend or give to it (think of a Lelo Vibrator, such as Mona for comparison). It’s 100% body safe, it’s shower friendly and splash proof. They don’t say waterproof, so don’t take it in the tub with you. It’s ridiculously easy to clean: soap and water. You can deeper sanitize your silicone toys in 10% bleach solution. How about its dimensions? The Rimming Plug is big. It’s definitely made for advanced users. It’s not just wide, but it’s pretty long – even if you only count the insertable part. How big? With its insertable 4.8” x 1.5” it’s definitely bigger or as big as about half of the penises in the world. And in order to experience the rimming sensation you will have to take it all in, because the beads are located in the neck. If you are experienced with anal sex and/or pegging, this is a toy for you.

Battery and remote

B-vibe Rimming Butt Plug Remote ControlIt takes 2 hours to fully charge it from 0% to 100%, and that will last you about 1 1/2 hours on full speed. It even has a battery level indicator, which blinks when you need to charge your toy. The remote operates from 30 ft away. And it really does. Toy fully inside, clothes on, different room: that’s not stopping it. Yes, other companies have created in the past some really frustrating remotes that had to be pointed literally at somebody’s genitals to work. This isn’t the case. But even if you’re not a fan of remotes and always keep losing them, you can go through all of its settings by pressing the control at the base of the plug. Yes, it’s definitely easier to use the + and – for power with the remote, rather than pressing several times to go back to your desired setting. So what I’m getting at is: don’t lose your remote. It’s a good one. And by the way, the remote uses a small round battery. And if you forgot to read your toy’s manual, you might not remember that you have to remove the little plastic protection that keeps the battery from getting wasted before you even purchase it. So remove that battery slip. I totally freaked out that my remote was defective and wouldn’t sync. Silly me, I guess I was excited to actually try the b-Vibe, and skipped all the reading. In order to have your control synced, you need to press once the power button of the toy, so it’s blinking. This wouldn’t turn the toy on immediately; it will just pair it up with the remote.

When put to the test

You will need a fair amount of lubrication with a plug of this size. Don’t use silicone lube on it. Stick with thicker water-based lubes for anal sex, or hybrid lubes. Insert it slowly and start with the lowest setting of the rotation and the vibration. The slower it is, the more pronounced the rimming sensation is. You might wanna turn the vibration off and just concentrate on the rotation first. It takes some getting used to. Savor it. It’s really different than what you’ve experienced with other anal toys. Then play with the speed and the settings. It has several patterns as well. The strongest setting is pretty powerful!

The size and the design of the plug make it really similar to anal intercourse. It will definitely get you fully ready, if that’s on the menu for the night. The shape of the plug is round and there’s nothing that will poke you in an uncomfortable way. The widest point is not that much wider than its slimmest one, it has a nice big neck. If you are worried that it’s gonna slip out because if that ratio: don’t worry, it really won’t. It stays put.

It’s created with the help of the anal sex expert, Charlie Glickman. And you can tell. There’s very little that they could’ve done better.

One thing that could get in the way is how big the base is. If you are simply going to use it as a butt plug: it performs great. If you want to have vaginal intercourse while the plug is inside too, that could get tricky. Basically you are going to have to either spread your cheeks and have the base horizontally, not vertically. In simple words: not alongside your crack. Otherwise the base almost covers the entrance to your vagina. Also, the plug is biiig. So it could be challenging to have a penis or a dildo in your vag at the same time.

Power exchange and outside use

B-vibe Rimming Butt Plug Case and Remote ControlOne of the intended applications of the plug is for BDSM power exchange and use outside. For instance, your dom instructs you to wear the plug during your shopping at the mall or at a fancy dinner. And he gets to keep the remote. The idea is brilliant and almost works as good in real life. On the highest setting it can be a little noisy. It’s not a noisy vibrator. It’s just noisy for… wearing it a quiet boutique or luxury store. But luckily less so through your clothes or a few feet away. Unless you are going to a really quiet public place and don’t want people looking weirdly at you for having your phone buzz in your purse (that’s probably gonna be the assumption) then you are covered. Actually having people looking and wondering what’s going on might be a bit of a turn on. Unfortunately what truly gets in the way of outside use it that it’s not very comfortable to sit with it. Especially on hard surfaces.

On penises and prostates

It’s a symmetric straight butt plug. It doesn’t have a prostate curve to it, and I haven’t used it on prostate owners, so I can’t say how it feels. I am curious whether the vibration will feel really great on the prostate, because the motor is located at the tip, or whether the lack of curve will make it less so.

How does it feel on the penis, while it’s penetrating you vaginally and the plug is on its highest setting? I’ve been told that it doesn’t feel like much. To me the vibration is very strong, but I guess it doesn’t travel that much through the wall that separates your rectum and your vagina. There are plenty of organs and tissues, so I guess it just gets absorbed. Or perhaps with the thrusting and moving around during intercourse, it’s just not very noticeable. I guess one has to stay still inside in order to feel any of the vibrations.

In conclusion

B-vibe Rimming Butt PlugThis is a sick (in the best possible way) creation of an evil genius, executed in almost completely flawless way. It’s definitely a unique plug that can bring you entirely different sensations from any other anal toy. It’s one of the few really big anal toys for advanced users, and is an absolute must for your kink collection. You can drive someone mad with the remote.

It’s really high quality and absolutely worth investing money into. There aren’t many rechargeable b-plugs or anal toys on the market (to name a few manufacturers: Nexus, Fun Factory, Je Joue and Lust by Jopen). If I have to point out one disadvantage of the toy: it’s the price tag. Yes, this product is spendy. But looking into it’s named competitors, all of the rechargeable and/or remote controlled silicone anal toys I found are in the price range of 100 and 200 USD. A lot of research, work and quality materials have been put into it, and it’s definitely worth it. If you want to invest in one really high-quality toy, instead of buying several cheaper plugs (which in many cases are not silicone, ergo probably not body-safe), this is a very good way to go.

If you like the idea of a rechargeable butt plug with super strong vibrations, but are intimidated of the size of the Rimming Plug, then maybe you should take a look at the Trio Plug by b-Vibe. The only thing is that the Trio doesn’t have the rotating beads, but it has not one, but three of the strong and rumbly b-Vibe motors. The company is providing a lot of education and tips on anal sex, butt play and pleasure and is a really good and responsible manufacturer to support.

Video in which I am comparing the Rimming Plug and the Trio Plug.

Additional resources: Rimming Plug Video

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Buy it with free delivery from either SheVibe at $139.99 or Good Vibrations at $150.00.

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Doxy Die Cast Review

Updated Aug 26 2016

doxy (2)I still remember last year’s Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit when Crista Anne Orenda, JoEllen Notte (The Redhead Bedhead) and Stephen Biggs were flashing around a gorgeous wand vibrator and telling people how amazing it is and that it could get off even people who are experiencing anorgasmia as a result of depression treatment with SSRIs (eg. Zoloft, Celexa, etc.)  I thought “If two awesome sex bloggers and a therapist are passionately recommending a wand, which isn’t the Hitachi, that thing must be good”.

Doxy Die Cast MassagerThat was a year ago and the vibrating wand was the Doxy Massager. Since then the Doxy Original has evolved into the kick-ass (pardon my French) even most dazzling Doxy Die Cast. And these same colleagues loved it even more. Okay, this thing really must be something else. So I had to order it from the Doxy table at Woodhull SFS 16.

Doxy is… like the futuristic British cousin of the Hitachi Original.

So how is the Doxy different and better?

Don’t judge a book by its cover. Should you then judge a vibe from its looks? Well, clearly there’s no correlation between looks and functionality (and there are plenty of examples of beautiful luxury useless toys), but one can still appreciate and seek beauty in the world, right? The Die Cast is just so gorgeous, and I am the last person to judge you if that played a role in your decision to buy one.

doxy (7)Doxy just released several new color options for the Die Cast. Now you can choose between the original silver one, black, read, purple and white. If you get the silver one, keep in mind that fingerprints and smudging is a risk. Several other sex toy reviewers said that it gets really dirty very fast. Not an issue with the black one. The Die Cast comes with a zip-up storage case, that makes your Doxy more discreetly stored in your closet or easier to transport (if you are one of these people, who would bring a 1.9 lbs (2lbs 13oz with the case) and 13″ long toy on their trip. Not judging, I can totally relate.)

This massager is corded and you will need a power outlet in order to use it. Luckily the folks from Doxy thought this through: the cord is significantly longer than the one on other corded wands (10 feet) it can safely be used world-wide (you will just need an adapter for the outlet).

Die Cast has three easy buttons. The power on/off (it also switches between the steady mode and it’s cascading pattern), and the + and – . It has much finer nuances and the power settings are increasing or decreasing really gradually. The buttons light up (so you can find it in the dark) in and are really easy to use. No clunky switches. Die Cast is really smart too – it remembers where you left off. It will automatically turn on to the setting you were last using it. So no annoying pressing the + several times until you get to your desired power mode.

Upon turning one on there’s something that can’t possibly remain unnoticed. It’s so quiet. To quote my partner: “When I used to come back from work, I could hear you from the elevator (which is several apartments down the hall). I just didn’t know whether you were vacuuming, or using your Hitachi.” Whoever owns a Hitachi knows how awkward and loud that gadget is. The Die Cast is like a nice purring kitten compared to it. Don’t get me wrong. It’s still loud if you put it against to your extra quiet bullet vibe. After all, it’s a wand. And as such, it’s the quietest I’ve encountered so far.

Let’s talk about its quality. This toy is a freaking work of art. It’s made in the UK, unlike the Hitachi which is made in China (no, not made in Japan. The box clearly says “Designed in Japan, made in China”). It’s made of super high quality materials, the handle made of casted (got it, Die Cast?) aluminum and titanium metals and the head is silicone. That is a big deal in terms of sanitizing or sharing the toy with other lovers, because, because honestly,  it’s not easy to put a condom on a wand vibrator. And other non-silicone heads (including the older Doxy) are porous. That means that Die Cast isn’t gonna harbor bacteria or viruses in its material (which is a risk with non-silicone heads, even if you clean them thoroughly). Just a small reminder: you can only use water based and hybrid lubes with it, silicone lubes might damage the silicone head.

Doxy Die Cast MassagerHow do the vibrations feel? They’re deep, nuanced, and rumbly. The feel of the silicone is very thuddy. That could be a hit or miss, and it takes some getting used to, especially if you were a Hitachi addict already. It does feel different. Fortunately, all the Hitachi attachments that you already own, or wanna buy, will fit your Doxy as well.

I need to talk a bit more about the cascading pattern though. The pattern RULES! RULZZZ!!! (Not a sentence I thought will ever come out of my mouth when it comes to patterns.) I never liked them, pulsations, waves or cascades. I used to get irritated with them because they would never get me off, and will just waste my time keeping orgasms farther and farther from me. This doesn’t apply to the Doxy. It’s cascades are genius and often make me climax faster that the steady pattern. My guess why that is would be that the Die Cast is so damn strong and overwhelming, that one needs little “breaks” in order to actually enjoy and savor the sensations.

How to clean it? Sanitizing it is really easy. Just don’t submerge it underwater. You can wipe out the handle with sanitizing wipes or a little bit of hand sanitizer on a wet cloth. As for the head: any toy cleaner or just soap and water will do the trick.

It comes with a 12-month manufacturer warranty, but you have to have a proof of purchase.

Don’t estimate it as a all-bodies toy either. The Doxy is great for men too. It has an astonishing effect on the penis, the balls and the perineum. And there are even “male” attachments for it: they look like a masturbation sleeve. Just go slower, start with a really low setting. And do not press the wand against the balls, I’ve been told it can get too intense and painful.

And clearly… Die Cast is an awesome massager as well. You can reach your back and neck and work these sore muscles. Try it out on your buttocks or legs after working out. It’s godsend!

I can’t write a review on a Doxy and not mention the key word: fully clothed orgasms. Yeap. Want an orgasm through your jeans? Doxy’s got you covered.

What’s not so great about it?

So far I’ve only outlined its advantages and upgrades from other wand massagers. But let’s take a look at my concerns. Okay, I do not own a Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable. But the new Magic Wand has a silicone head, and has several power settings too. And is rechargeable on top if it. The Hitachi rechargeable is 1.3 lbs (Hitachi Original: 1.2 lbs), which is lighter than the Doxy. In many ways it does look like that the Hitachi Rechargeable is addressing a lot of the issues that the Doxy does too, while being cheaper in comparison.

And one just Doxy specific disadvantage – sometimes accidentally I press the power button and turn it off, because it’s the closest one to the head and the + is the middle one. That’s happened a couple of times. And is very frustrating to have something shut off, instead of go higher and more powerful.

Tips for using a wand vibrator

Doxy Die Cast MassagerBesides the countless options for attachments, some of which are insertable, some of which are textured and are for external stimulation, how does one actually use a wand vibrator? You can hold it on your clit (don’t start with direct clit stimulation and always start on the lowest setting), on your labia, or simply above your pubic bone. As if showing someone where your g-spot is, but from the outside. You can try using a dildo, or just having vaginal balls inside, while using the wand vibe externally. Or you can even try a g-spot vibe internally alongside using a wand externally on your clit. Just experiment and have fun. And give it a few tries. Wands can be overwhelmingly strong for some people. That’s why the Doxy is actually so newbie friendly. It can start really low.

Of course, there are plenty of BDSM uses of a wand vibrator. Doxy is just great for forced orgasms.

In Conclusion

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I love the Die Cast. I truly do. But I always feel bad and guilty when telling people “you definitely need to have this toy” when it costs roughly $200. Is the Doxy worth it? If you can afford it, definitely get it. And if money’s an issue, more affordable, but really good options, are Hitachi/Magic Wand Original ($59.99), Doxy Original ($109.99) or a Hitachi/Magic Wand Rechargeable ($124.99).

Is it worth getting it if you already have a Hitachi? Again, if it’s within financial reach: YES. It’s really feels quite different. Am I gonna stop using and needing my Hitachi? Nope. I still have a special place in my heart for it, and I am gonna say it again: they feel different.

Buy your Die Cast from SheVibe at $189.99 or from Tantus at $209.99

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Key Comet II Wand vs. Njoy Pure Wand Review

Key Comet II Wand vs. Njoy Pure WandWand Wars

How about reviewing on two of the most notorious g-spot wands? Yes, I am going to try to help you pick one. That’s ballsy, isn’t it?

But, wait, Wetlandia, why are you making us pick just one? – one might ask. Because, dear reader, probably most of us can’t toss around hundreds of dollars on sex toys. Especially when we WANT THEM ALLMaybe you are lucky enough that you can buy them both at once. But most people would prefer to spend that amount of money on a g-spot wand and, say, a butt plug, instead of on two g-spot toys. And let’s face it: these two guys are somewhat similar. See what I mean?

Even from first sight of their big round and bulky heads one can tell that they’re great for g-spot stimulation. And they’ve been received equally positively by the sex blogger community. There are tens of reputable bloggers who’ve written about them and who absolutely love them. Which makes the task of choosing just one even more frustrating, because upon reading separate reviews of the two, you are mainly gonna run into reasons why to buy each of them, but little comparison.

How are they alike?

The Comet Wand and the Pure Wand are famous for making women squirt. If that’s what you’re looking for, rest assured, these two are going to deliver. They’re both very ergonomic: their design is just perfect for g-spot stimulation. No need for you to have your hands in a weird position in order to reach in, or get the right angle. They’re made really easy for both solo and partnered use. Both toys are made of body-safe materials (silicone vs. stainless steel), which are easy to sanitize, easy to store, and really low maintenance. What I found out though, is that their similarities end right here.

How are they different?


What are the properties of the material of the Njoy Pure Wand? It has as close to “no drag” as it gets. It’s absolutely perfect in its sleekness. That has a little bit of a downside to it: if any lube or bodily fluid gets on the end that you’re holding, it’s gonna get too slippery for whoever is holding it and doing the thrusting. Keep some tissues nearby if you are switching ends, so you can clean up and have a good grip of the toy again. You will need it! The Pure Wand is really heavy because of the stainless steel. I mean heavy. As much as I expected it, it turned out I wasn’t prepared for it at all. It not only makes it difficult for me to hold it or use it on myself or on a female partner, but it also kind of hurts my vag too. If the thrusting is too fast, it can get painful (which is really frustrating, because I want it fast). It’s just too heavy… inside of me. If that makes any sense. Probably there’s a learning curve to it, but we’re just too new of lovers to know each other that well.

Because stainless steel can change its temperature and keep it for a while, temperature play is something you can definitely use the Njoy for. You can make it slightly warmer than the temperature of the body, that really helps arousal, because it will help your circulation. Or you can cool it off for teasing your partner and give them tingling chills. However, if you’re not into temperature play, please check the temperature of the toy before insertion. If you’re in a room that’s, say, 68 F, the toy is gonna be 68 F. Which, believe me, feels cold on your body. A nice way to warm it up to body temp. is to just hold it in your hands, or leave it rest on your belly, or any other body part.

When it comes to lube anything goes with the Njoy. Literally. It’s safe to use it with every kind of lubricant: water-based, hybrid, silicone or oil-based. That makes it easy for play in the bathtub too, because you can use a silicone lube, which is water resistant.

The Comet Wand is almost the opposite of everything that I’ve said in the last paragraph. Luckily, its silicone is matte, so it has just a little bit of drag to it, but not too bad for a silicone toy. And it’s just so, so light. Especially for a rechargeable vibrator. It’s almost never, no matter the speed or the enthusiasm with which it’s been thrust inside of me, hurt me or caused me any pain. The head is very bulky and with the little drag from the material, could be a bit challenging to insert, but that’s as far as discomfort goes. Nothing that can remotely compare to the cramping I have with fierce (or just moderately fierce) in-and-outs with the Njoy. As far as lubrication goes, you have to avoid silicone lubes with the Key. Don’t forget to use plenty of lube before insertion and go really slow. It’s a big boy! Taking it out should happen slowly too, especially if you’ve just come, there’s a chance your muscles will clench around it.


The Njoy is a double-ended dildo and on this one it beats the Comet Wand. The smaller end of the Pure Wand is a good way to build up the excitement. The thinner end can also be used for prostate stimulation or anal play. Unfortunately as far as the Comet goes, you can’t use the small end, because that’s where the control for the vibration is. And you definitely don’t want any lube or vaginal secretion stuck at the rim of the button. If you wanna get creative, I guess you can cover the small end with a condom, in order to protect the control button, and still go for it with the little end.

Color and packaging

The Comet II Wand comes in blue, lavender and pink (the one featured in the pictures is lavender). It arrives in a modern tasteful box, and comes with a satin black drawstring bag for storage in your closet. The Pure Wand comes in a minimalistic black box, that only has “NJOY” written on it, and has a gorgeous raspberry satin on the inside. It doesn’t have a little pouch or a bag, so storing it might take more space (but you can buy a toy storage bags from Lovehoney for $3-4). In my opinion both toys have too ambiguous of a shape, for you to be worried that your kids might figure out what they are for, if they happen to discover them.


If there’s one thing that makes these two toys fundamentally different, that’s the vibration. The earlier model of the Comet was a dildo with virtually the same shape, not a vibrator, and it was still as glorious. And after all, nobody will make you use the vibration unless you like it. But it’s nice to have the option. You might be surprised. I didn’t think that I cared much for internal vibrations until I started using the Comet Wand simultaneously with a clit external vibrator. And it totally rocked my world. It gave me these beautiful, world-shattering blended orgasms. How do I achieve them? In the weirdest possible way. Comet Wand – in, steady vibration on, Hitachi Magic Wand Original on my clit. That’s some intense sh*t, you guys! Not to mention that because of the big head and the comfy handle, the Comet II is actually good as an external vibe too. People who know me well can second that: I don’t travel anywhere without my Comet. It became my all-time-favorite toy. I am completely addicted to it.

The vibrations: it offers several different patterns, some of which are actually quite nice, but I am not a pattern-girl. So I am not going to be able to ever appreciate any vibrator’s patterns. That’s just me. One downside to the Comet, is that it doesn’t have power settings. It’s just either the steady vibration or the patterns, but no way of controlling the speed. I would say that the vibration is good and powerful enough. Deep and rumbly. There are definitely much better vibes out there, but for that price and that unique shape, I think it’s pretty good. It’s loud, but definitely not extremely loud. Or maybe I just went deaf from the Hitachi and everything else compared to it is quiet. Oh well, that’s a price I am willing to pay for those blended orgasms. Seriously, the pros outnumber the cons.

It’s 100% waterproof and the battery is rechargeable. Comes with a USB magnetic charger. And the battery lasts really long. Sometimes I would use it for hours a day, and it wouldn’t die on me. It comes with 1 year warranty, which you have to register at Jopen.com, so don’t throw away the box until you do so.

Keep in mind

There are a couple of things one has to be cautious about with both toys. Because of where the power button is located on the Comet, you might accidentally turn it off right in the middle of… well, when you least want it to shut down on you. Sometimes one can get carried away (blushing) and depending on how hard you’re holding onto the handle, you can turn the toy off. Note: it doesn’t take one short pressing the button to turn it on and off. You have to hold the control continuously for several seconds. Pressing it once shortly only changes the patterns. But both are unpleasant if you happen to do it unintentionally and you were sooo close to climaxing. And it’s happened to me a number of times, so I don’t think it was just a one-time mistake.

As far as the Pure Wand goes, it can accidentally “just” crack your head open. I am not kidding. It’s a big steel dildo. If you happen to lose track of its location in your love nest, and get thrown on the bed or change positions, you can really hurt whichever part of your body happens to land on it. So always keep in mind where you left it. I would just leave it on the nightstand, when not using it, don’t let it dangle in the sheets with you. It’s a hazard.


Both toys are eligible for free shipping with most sex-positive retailers. The prices I am quoting are the cheapest among the good and responsible sex stores. If you have another store of preference, feel free to buy for them or check out other stores I recommend in my “Where to Buy” page. At SheVibe the Key Comet Wand II is priced at $79, but just until the end of August 2016 all Jopen brands are 15% off, so you can have it at the unbelievable $68! The Njoy Pure Wand costs $99. Do not buy it from Amazon. It’s the most copied product on the market. The world is flooded with counterfeit Njoys, made with cheaper and unsafe metals.

In conclusion

Which one did I pick back in the day, when I had to choose just one? I personally picked the Comet wand. And now owning them both I stand behind this decision. Don’t get me wrong, the Pure Wand is an amazing, versatile toy that’s probably gonna outlive you. But as an everyday, easy to transport, easy to use, has a vibration as well, the Comet Wand wins me on its team. Whichever one you choose, you won’t be disappointed. So, relax, you are not making a terrible mistake and you are NOT wasting your money.

Note: The Key Comet II Wand is a toy from my private toy collection. The Njoy Pure Wand was given to me as a sponsor gift at Reid Mihalko‘s Sex Geek Summer Camp. Huge “thank you” to Reid and to NJOY Toys!

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Cashew Groove Butt Plug Review

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove Butt Plug

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove butt plug in its glory

First sex toy review… Yay! I’m not gonna lie, you guys..  It wasn’t easy to pick which one to review first. I do have a pretty big personal collection (note to self: count number of sex toys) that I’ve accumulated over the years, some of which date waaay before Wetlandia.com was born, some I bought just 10 days ago while I was at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit 2016. Ironically, I picked a product from the latter pile. Even though I have my all time favorites that have been my go-to tools for fun, this fellow sneaked into my top 5 immediately.

It was love at first slide.

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove is a butt plug. And it’s sooo amazing at being a butt plug, that I actually didn’t try doing anything else with it. Until yesterday! I was reading the company’s website while doing further research on their products and philosophy. So I found out that the ribbed part is meant as a clitoral non-vibrating toy. Had to try it immediately, you know… for the website. Dear, Kenton (the owner of FunkIt, and runner of the whole operation) you are a genius. But first things first!

Cashew Groove as a plug

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove Butt Plug

What time is it? It’s Butt Plug o’clock!

With insertable length of 3 1/2″ and widest point of 1 1/2″ Cashew Groove isn’t a beginner’s friendly plug. It gets to its widest point very gradually, so I would say it can be used by intermediate, as well as advanced anal play lovers. I didn’t need any other warm up from a smaller toy in order to be able to take it, at the same time it was big enough that when it was eventually all in, I didn’t need to move to a bigger toy after a while. It can absolutely get you ready for anal sex with a penis or a strap on. If you are looking for one plug for the entire evening – there’s your toy. It’s very light, so taking it in your carry on or even in your purse for a fun night at somebody’s place isn’t gonna be an issue.

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove Butt Plug

My beautiful pink swirl

All of FunkIt Toys are made 100% of platinum silicone. Most of them are see-through with gorgeous swirls of your color or colors of preference. You can buy one of the products in stock, or you can order your own customized toy, choosing from 1 up to as-many-as you-wish colors (each additional color costs just $5 extra). Shout out to their rainbow toys (named after the amazing sex blogger Crista Anne!) Your toy will be without doubt one of a kind, because they’re all custom-made. As I mentioned, the company is run just by one person. Feel of the silicone is very sleek, it doesn’t have drag to it, once properly lubricated. Use water-based lube with it, never a silicone-based one. Always add plenty of lubricant during anal play and reapply if needed. Their silicone isn’t too hard, has plenty of give to it and a nice cushioning, which is really important for a butt toy because you need the neck of the plug to have some bend and feel comfortable in different positions.

Speaking of the neck of plug, I think that’s one of the features I like most about it. It’s not too slim. The ratio between the girth of the neck and the widest part of the plug is just so delicious. My sphincters were stimulated the entire time, and were stretched enough to be ready for some action at any given point. Plugs with really slim necks could be very painful to remove or to do in-and-outs with. Most plugs won’t get you sufficiently ready for anal sex (if that’s the main reason you’re using a plug). A good plug that precedes anal sex should prepare you for being stretched all over (but at the same time, should have a pronounced wider part, so the plug doesn’t get shot out of your ass by the contractions of your muscles). Penises aren’t super thin at the base of the shaft, and a penis is definitely going to do some thrusting, even if very slowly and gently, so you do need that warm-up for your sphincters.

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove Butt Plug

Suction cup to suction cup: Cashew Groove with The Swing

FunkIt Toys silicone products (as of this moment) come with a built-in suction cup. You can use it absolutely hands free, while it’s nicely attached to the tiles of your shower or on pretty much any flat surface. It has another super cool feature to it too: it can be attached to another one of their toys (or any other toy with a flat base or one with a suction cup), turning it into a double ended toy or a toy with a comfortable handle to it. The suction cup doubles as a flared base for the plug, so you will be entirely safe in your anal adventures (never put vibes and toys with no base, because they can get sucked inside the rectum and you do want to save yourself the trip to the emergency room). At the same time the base folds up, so it fits really comfy between your cheeks. Having intercourse while the plug is nicely snuggled inside your ass, isn’t mission impossible. Unlike other toys, the base doesn’t get in the way too much. Depending on how big the penis is, having both vaginal penetration and being filled up with the plug at the same time could be too tight of a squeeze.

I went far and beyond in testing the product and gave it a prolonged stay challenge. I wore it for up to 3 hours, walked around with it, did some groceries, sat on my desk, tried penetration while wearing it. It stays put, doesn’t slip out, doesn’t poke me in an unpleasant way. I can sign under this statement: it’s one of the most comfortable plugs I’ve tried.

Cashew Groove as a clit toy or a vag plug

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove Butt Plug

The “n” in “funk” is rotated by 90%, so it looks like a “c”. How awesome is that?

Okay. I am gonna say it. This is the first time in life I’ve enjoyed a non-vibrating clit toy. (I feel so young and green all of a sudden, blushing with my newly discovered interest.) The ribs of the Cashew, the big enough surface, the sleekness of the silicone and the ergonomics of the shape, designed with thought both for the clit, and the hand holding the toy, make it… just perfect for the task. I am one of these gals, that never plays with her own clit (unless it’s with a vibrating toy). My tiny thin fingers are just not meant for it. I get tired pretty soon and just end up frustrated. That’s why I never even bothered to masturbate manually. It’s simply not doing it for me. The Cashew Groove just gave me the so needed tool for that. Not to mention that it generally feels better than anyone’s fingers stimulating me. Fingers are just too… Bony and hard for me. They usually hurt my clit, or the friction is too uncomfortable for my sensitive skin. So I would love to see this toy used on me by somebody else.

And how does it behave as a vag plug? Pretty well, I must say. It doesn’t give me much g-spot stimulation, but it’s definitely great just as a plug: I can have my vag muscles clench around it, while feeling properly filled. Another really good way of using it vaginally are in-and-outs. You can try slow and teasing movements, or thrust faster and faster. Because the silicone is more bendable, there’s no way to poke your partner or yourself badly.

In conclusion

FunkIt Toys Cashew Groove Butt Plug

The base of the product has FunkIt Toys engraved, which I think gives a really cool touch.

I really loved the idea of supporting an indie toy manufacturer, and having a unique toy, one that has a character to it and that I chose to match my taste and liking. At a starting price of $49 for the single-color ones, and $39 for their older model that doesn’t have the foldable base, it falls roughly in the middle of the price range of silicone butt plugs. Is it worth it? Hell yeah!

And in case you haven’t heard yet, it’s #AnalAugust, treat yourself to a nice butt toy. For the time being you can order your FunkIt Toys only from their website. Shipping to the US is included in the price.

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Sex Life After Divorce

Intimacy and sex after divorce

Even though this article is called “sex life after divorce”, all of the ideas in it are applicable after separation, and after a break-up from a long-lasting relationship.

Maybe your divorce went well and it didn’t scar you deeply. Maybe it didn’t leave you devastated, bitter, or disappointed in humankind, and especially in the opposite (or the same) sex. Congratulations! You are one of the few. But even if things went relatively smoothly, there are many ways in which long relationships alter our personality, and make us fall into bad, unproductive patterns. That’s even more true when it comes to sex.

Here are some tips on how to get your sex life back on track

  • Be open to life again. Allow yourself to have fun again. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t waste your energy on anger and hatred. Just move on. Believe that life can be fun. Because it is. Life is full of wonderful gifts you just need to reach out for. You ended and got out of a relationship that was clearly not working. You still have the rest of your life to enjoy sex and enjoy yourself.
  • Start from the scratch, unlearn bad habits. Question everything! Whatever beliefs you have built around sex and pleasure, maybe it’s time to question them now. Sex is different for everybody and with any new partner. You might’ve been exposed to sex only lasting 5 minutes in the past 10 years. You might’ve not been able to achieve orgasm at all. You might’ve had problems staying hard. You might’ve been used to your partner constantly rejecting you sexually. You might’ve thought that you’re not desirable. You might’ve thought that you’re not interested in sex anymore. Whatever it is that you were used to: it was just a temporary state of affairs. You don’t have to carry these beliefs for the rest of your life. Sex and relationships can be different and so much better than you could imagine. Maybe you don’t even remember what it feels like to get aroused and want somebody. That doesn’t mean you’re incapable of it. You just went through a long period of not having it.
  • Get tested. Make sure you’re literally not carrying something from your past. Check your HIV, Hep B and C, HSV 1 and 2, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Trichomoniasis, HPV, and syphilis status. Even if you don’t have any symptoms, a lot of STIs can remain unnoticed and not express themselves for a really long time. For some of these STIs you can get tested even at the privacy of your own bedroom.
  • Get used to using condoms again. You might’ve not seen or touched one in decades. Condoms evolved a lot. See what’s new on the market, try out new brands. Good places to start are: Glyde condoms, ONE condoms, or even the new Lelo Hex. Make sure you are properly fitted. If a condom is too loose or too tight, it might slip out or break. If you have a penis, try masturbating with a condom on. This way it won’t feel weird when you actually get to have sex with one. You’re most probably not going to lose your erection if you’re accustomed to putting on a condom. If you have a vagina, have you tried an internal condom? For both vagina and penis owners – practice putting a condom on. It’s a skill. You don’t wanna get all nervous in the middle of your first post-divorce date!
  • Don’t overlook masturbation. Solo sex is sex and at the end of the day, orgasms count. You need those endorphins and oxytocin. Even if you think that partnered sex is the last thing you need right now, you can still have fun with yourself. You probably didn’t have enough privacy or time to get it going with yourself while you were married or in a relationship. Maybe you were even afraid to masturbate, because you thought that would upset your partner. Maybe you were afraid that you would get caught. Now is the time to pay your tribute to the temple that is your body. Keep the habit of masturbating even when you start dating and are in your next relationship. Pleasuring yourself doesn’t take anything away from your sex life. If you jerk off or if you touch yourself, that doesn’t mean that you are not going to want to have sex anymore that same day or in the next few days. On the contrary, the more you do it, the more you enjoy sex, the more you want it, and the more you know what feels good.
  • Make time for solo sex. Having your way with yourself takes a little more than good intentions. You have to make time for dates with yourself. Take the night for yourself, put it in the calendar, set the atmosphere. Unless you schedule it, life will get in the way and you will end up doing some chores, procrastinating on the web, or catching up with work. Take time for pleasuring yourself seriously.
  • Buy a ton of lube. Okay, a ton might’ve been an exaggeration. Get a good sized bottle of lube for your bedroom, and a smaller one for your purse or for travel. Put a few little lube samples or squares in your wallet or pocket, alongside your condoms. If you’ve never used lube before, now is the time to change this. Lube is the best friend of pleasure. It’s almost impossible to have enjoyable sex, solo or partnered, without a good amount of lubrication. No, your own lubrication is not enough, especially with condoms. Dry sex can be very painful or cause a lot of friction burn, and leave you incapable of having any for days. Not to mention that the lack of enough lubricant is the most common cause of condom breakage.
  • Pamper yourself. Go to the salon and the spa. Women: get new sexy lingerie, guys: simply buy a few pairs of new underwear. Don’t go out in your old worn out boxers or undies. Don’t wear your old sweatpants at home. Change your wardrobe. Pick up working out again. Start grooming – even if you don’t have a partner at the moment. Looking good will make you feel good about yourself. You will feel datable and desirable again.
  • Set up a dating profile. Or register at a hook-up site. Make sure to find the right website for you, so you don’t feel there’s nobody out there. For example some websites are predominately white and straight and are not very culturally diverse. If that’s what you’re looking for, great, but if it’s not – don’t lose hope, there are other options. Ask yourself what you want to get out of dating? Are you looking for a hook-up, something casual, or are you dating to find a long-lasting commitment? What are your needs, and what are you capable of giving? How much time are you willing to invest in dating, and how soon do you think you would like to start a new relationship? These are all great questions to start with. Take time to reflect upon your expectations and boundaries, in order to save yourself future disappointments or just wasting your time. Here are some examples of the most visited online dating services.
  • Allow yourself to play the field. It’s okay if you want to steer clear of commitments in the foreseeable future! There’s nothing healthy about bouncing from one relationship to the next. So don’t beat yourself for not wanting anything serious for a while.
  • Get comfortable with yourself. Enjoy not being married or in a relationship. Do all the things you’ve always wanted to do, but your ex-partner was against. Invest in yourself: personal development and growth are gonna bring you a lot of gratification and a sense of accomplishment. Start small and don’t set yourself for failure. Start a salsa class, or go on a trip.

Parenting and sex after divorce

  • Get a reliable baby-sitter. It’s pretty self-explanatory.
  • Meet other parents, make new friends. You need people who haven’t already been exposed to all the divorce drama, or been poisoned by your ex spouse. Other divorced parents are going to be your biggest ally when it comes to covering up for you, play-dates and sleepovers for the kids, and taking turns in child-sitting. As you will pretty soon see, you can’t only rely on baby-sitters.
  • Start using Google Calendar. Or any planner that can be used under different platforms: have your schedule on the go, not only on your computer, but in your smart phone and all of your devices. Time management around dating and parenting can become challenging. Make most of your free time without stressing out too much. Going out should be fun and should come guilt-free. You deserve it and you’re not a horrible parent if you have a personal life. A happier you makes for a happier kid!
  • Don’t stay home when the kiddos are not around. It will be very, very tempting to just stay in your PJ’s binge-watch Netflix and gobble all the unhealthy food you got at the convenience store. You might start having lots of unhealthy habits while your child(ren) are with their other parent. It’s understandable, everyone gets tired of being perfect, of being a role model. Don’t fall into this trap. It will be very strange at first and you will feel empty and lonely, when you’re home alone. Make sure to make plans, waaay in advance, for almost all of your free nights. It can be simply going out with friends for happy hour, or seeing a concert, but commit to something you can’t easily get out of or cancel. Otherwise the bucket of ice-cream and the couch will win. It will only make you spiral down, and will create a false feeling that life is only joyful when the kids are around because all of your gratification will be from them. This will put you off dating even more, because you will start feeling conflicted for “jeopardizing” your relationship with your kids over “some dude/chick”. Staying home is a trap!

And at the end of the day don’t forget to pat yourself on the back, because you are a freaking super-hero for bouncing back from your divorce. Even if you take just one or two of these suggestions, you’re already taking steps in the right direction. Give yourself credit for it and make sure to celebrate even the smallest victories.

Ready to step it up a notch? Read Part 2 of this article!

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Wetlandia’s very first blog post

njoy toys

njoy pure plug large, njoy pure wand and njoy fun wand, all enjoying the company of a beautiful blossoming orchid

Why did I decide to start a sex and human sexuality blog? It’s so, so simple. Because I really like sex. Nope. I actually deeply and profoundly love sex. I think it’s (or at least it should be!) one of the most beautiful, sacred, and transcendent experiences one can have in their lives.

I am sick of seeing sex dragged into the mud, frowned upon, denied and taken away from people. I am angry about having to apologize, having to be polite and “civilized”, having to censor myself. I am so tired of not being able to talk about sex. As freely, as often, as openly, as frankly, and as graphically as I wish.

I want to normalize sex. Because sex is normal and natural. And if people read more about it, if they saw it in its every-day glory, in its simple human side, maybe they wouldn’t beat themselves up for having certain thoughts or desires, or point a finger at one another, or bottle it up deep into their minds and souls.

I believe that everyone deserves pleasure and that we all have the human right of sexual health. But with it comes huge responsibility. Throughout life no one teaches us how to experience, ask for, or give pleasure. In fact what we learn is that pleasure is dirty and shameful, that our desires are wrong.

We all need allies and friends in the quest for better sex. We don’t just need resources or education. We need understanding, we need to remind ourselves that we’re not alone. We need to know that others make mistakes too, that others aren’t perfect. And just like you, I’ve succeeded but also failed a good number of times.

Why Wetlandia? I can’t quite remember how I came up with it. I knew I wanted a catchy and easy to remember name for my website, suggestive, but not too explicit. Enough to kindle one’s imagination, but leave it ambiguous enough that the thought of being caught at work reading it wouldn’t scare people away. Maybe it’s some reference to Alice in Wonderland. Maybe at the time I was reading about the striking wetlands of Pantanal in Brazil. But what made me choose it and stick with it was when I shared the name with my partner and asked him for some thoughts and feedback. His reaction was “well, it makes me thing of wet pu**ies”. And I said to myself – yes, that’s exactly what the world needs, that’s exactly what women (and men for that matter) deserve – more wet pu**sies. Wetter pu**ies.

Fast forward several months, and here we are today: after I’ve dealt (barely) with my inner demons, impostor syndrome, and the “who’s EVER gonna read my blog” crisis, writing my first blog post, having a website and getting sh*t done.

Let the journey begin…

(By the way, dealing with my demons took 4 months, creating the website, a logo, social media channels and all that took a week. Talk about your fears being your worst enemy.)

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